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Tuesday, January 15, 2008

The very famous Men are from Mars; Women are from Venus book is not quite an interesting read as I thought it would be. Neither is it the bible of relationships, for it does not seemingly solve the fundamental problems of connecting and communicating with the other gender. Perhaps it does, for it highlights the basic and very general behavior of men and women if left to their own devices.

Summary being, men are more straight-forward in their thought processes, focusing on the big picture while women tend to beat around the bush, emphasizing on detail and everything peripheral - how she feels, how she thinks her man feels, what she should feel, what she thinks her man should feel - except the main problem.

True, true. But I have had my share of men dumping their basket of emotions and problems on me, seemingly similar to that of a woman going berserk on her man simply because he couldn't make it to an appointment because of his work. What is this, the reversal of roles? Perhaps it is the era of "contemporary thoughts and behavior", for we have our men dressing in skinny jeans and keeping long and wavy hair, applying make-up; and our women gearing themselves for power-dressing in pants-suits, laced up heels as well as top hats.

Watch how it swings from supermodels and bra-clad women sashaying along the streets to hunks and toyboys appearing on entertainment talk shows and programmes.

Of course, that is, besides the point. Men are from Mars; Women are from Venus addresses the communication problem between couples, which also boils down to not being able to understand what the other party is actually thinking. Guilty, as charged, I am one of those women who are damn politically correct in what I say, advice and blah, when deep down inside I might really be just one of those bitches you wish you never knew. Ha-ha.

It must be tiring playing all these mind games (subconsciously, or not) with each other. Ms A complains that Mr B does not want to commit to her, while Mr B is trying to second guess what Ms A meant by that accusation, yet at the same time seemingly pushing him away. Ms A wants Mr B to treat her like a queen, yet at the same time does not want to be Mr B's girlfriend because she knows it will only turn out for the worst. At the same time Mr B wants to be nice to Ms A but when he does, he gets scorned by Ms A for not having a mind of his own...and the story goes on.

We spend too much time guessing at what the other party is thinking, reading signs and signals that our other halves send out and trying to react to those signs with what we want to communicate across. In return, our actions are interpreted by the other party, which...might be very well wrong and it downspirals into a disastrous misunderstanding. Aiya, but it is probably equally difficult to be straightforward about our true feelings because it is a risk. A risk that our true selves, when put out there - defenceless, vulnerable and prone to hurt - might encounter a mishap which damages the self confidence, ego and esteem. Too often people take for granted others' sincerity...and well, shit happens, so they say.

One not-so-thought-provoking blog post and I am still on the verge of falling asleep. Damn, I do need my coffee fix.

x`p
11:47 AM

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| The Girl |
Twenty-two
Aquarian
Just bummin' around
With too much on her mind,
and too limited words to say.



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