Who would have thought life will have changed so much from 2004 to 2005?
Been seeing the 25th MC people around alot lately, had a wonderful Sports Club Anniversary dinner with them last night. But its really difficult to find a group of people working together, having trodden on each other's toes, but never raised their voices up at one another despite the stress. Its amazing how strangers can come together and get along well just so naturally simply because of the fact we're working together. Haiyar, so much for the flowerly talk, but I really enjoyed the start of 2005's plunge into projects with them.
Cheer up soon brother, its one bad week for you..but there are always listening ears and helping hands for you if you do need them. :)
Recalled this question a parent (of a student) asked me: You're so busy with all your activities and you teach piano on top of that, do you have time to date guys?
What can I say? Her question, despite my initial laughter, did set me thinking though. Something about my schedule led to me losing friends, lagging behind my social life, and perhaps was the main reason behind my failed relationships. Its like a viscious cycle really - I get busy, I thrive in it, I get busier, I neglect, they leave, I immerse myself in more work to drive away the hurt...and the entire cycle repeats itself again.
It seems so hard for me to forget 2004. A dream I had just now which I know will not come true, because he'll never be like that in reality. Rahhhhh. I think I dream too much. *sulks* I'm forever liking the impossible.
Tutorials are piling up as usual, and I'm not even starting on them. *sulks somemore* I'm still spinning out of control since the first day of school. As always.
Tuesday, January 25, 2005Been seeing the 25th MC people around alot lately, had a wonderful Sports Club Anniversary dinner with them last night. But its really difficult to find a group of people working together, having trodden on each other's toes, but never raised their voices up at one another despite the stress. Its amazing how strangers can come together and get along well just so naturally simply because of the fact we're working together. Haiyar, so much for the flowerly talk, but I really enjoyed the start of 2005's plunge into projects with them.
Cheer up soon brother, its one bad week for you..but there are always listening ears and helping hands for you if you do need them. :)
Recalled this question a parent (of a student) asked me: You're so busy with all your activities and you teach piano on top of that, do you have time to date guys?
What can I say? Her question, despite my initial laughter, did set me thinking though. Something about my schedule led to me losing friends, lagging behind my social life, and perhaps was the main reason behind my failed relationships. Its like a viscious cycle really - I get busy, I thrive in it, I get busier, I neglect, they leave, I immerse myself in more work to drive away the hurt...and the entire cycle repeats itself again.
It seems so hard for me to forget 2004. A dream I had just now which I know will not come true, because he'll never be like that in reality. Rahhhhh. I think I dream too much. *sulks* I'm forever liking the impossible.
Tutorials are piling up as usual, and I'm not even starting on them. *sulks somemore* I'm still spinning out of control since the first day of school. As always.
Slacking around in the club room, is a damn shiok thing to do.
Laptop is smaller, sleeker, faster, chio-er than my desktop. Wireless connection is 20 times faster than home's broadband - of course I like to do work in school!
(Not to mention uploading photos.)
Below are the people who have made my life in NUS so wonderful. Floorball girls and Sports Club people. Everybody say "awwwwwww" with me. :)
The chalet which took place last December.
Hmm, more pics in the links by the right. Meanwhile, Mr Exel (floorball stick) is whining for my attention.
Friday, January 21, 2005Laptop is smaller, sleeker, faster, chio-er than my desktop. Wireless connection is 20 times faster than home's broadband - of course I like to do work in school!
(Not to mention uploading photos.)
Below are the people who have made my life in NUS so wonderful. Floorball girls and Sports Club people. Everybody say "awwwwwww" with me. :)
The chalet which took place last December.
Hmm, more pics in the links by the right. Meanwhile, Mr Exel (floorball stick) is whining for my attention.
Shopping sprees with my mum always ends up with me buying lingerie. Today's trip has earned me 5 new bras. *rolls eyes* Tampines Mall is packed with aunties screaming "wah cheap cheap ah! 50% discount ah!" and screaming children. Met two juniors of mine - Shao Hao and Yi Ling (yay they looking good!), haha..the guys are starting to enter NS one by one! *grin* Saw William (after god knows how long) and my mum was commenting on how good he looks now compared to last time. Hahaha.
Tutorial balloting has passed and this semester is surprisingly smooth-sailing for me. I got all my desired tutorial slots, though I had abit of problem with Science of Music, but looking for the tutor to do a manual swap turned out to be a blessing in disguise. I wanted to do a swap from Friday's slot to Tuesday's slot (so that every lesson is spread out nicely), and it turned out that my name wasn't even registered. In the end I got my desired Tuesday slot. =)
Moved my bike to clubroom thanks to Shaikh (yay!), I think my desk area is starting to become very cluttered. Lagging behind everything, alot isn't done...and I'm tripping over everything in my way. Lots of my assignments are graded through discussions on the Forum (argh), and essays due and stuff. Crap.
NUS Sports Club dinner coming up next week, followed by Muscle War (and turning 20), Chinese New Year, Biathlon, T.U.S.H @ Chinablack...busy busy!
Its pretty easy to put on a happy face for everybody out there, my busy schedule makes it even easier. There is less time to brood, so I just..laugh my day through the day and hope all will be fine. The only drawback now is that I really miss home-cooked food, and I hate having my dinner at really weird timings..its not doing anything to help me slim down..*sigh* I miss having steamed fish, vegetables with rice everyday for dinner.
Tutorials start coming week. More work!
Saturday, January 15, 2005Tutorial balloting has passed and this semester is surprisingly smooth-sailing for me. I got all my desired tutorial slots, though I had abit of problem with Science of Music, but looking for the tutor to do a manual swap turned out to be a blessing in disguise. I wanted to do a swap from Friday's slot to Tuesday's slot (so that every lesson is spread out nicely), and it turned out that my name wasn't even registered. In the end I got my desired Tuesday slot. =)
Moved my bike to clubroom thanks to Shaikh (yay!), I think my desk area is starting to become very cluttered. Lagging behind everything, alot isn't done...and I'm tripping over everything in my way. Lots of my assignments are graded through discussions on the Forum (argh), and essays due and stuff. Crap.
NUS Sports Club dinner coming up next week, followed by Muscle War (and turning 20), Chinese New Year, Biathlon, T.U.S.H @ Chinablack...busy busy!
Its pretty easy to put on a happy face for everybody out there, my busy schedule makes it even easier. There is less time to brood, so I just..laugh my day through the day and hope all will be fine. The only drawback now is that I really miss home-cooked food, and I hate having my dinner at really weird timings..its not doing anything to help me slim down..*sigh* I miss having steamed fish, vegetables with rice everyday for dinner.
Tutorials start coming week. More work!
Its 3.29am, impossible to sleep in the club room. I sit on my chair, logged on to MSN, watching everybody walk in and out, the ongoign mahjong session, and I'm curled up here shivering from the cold.
Fatigue is catching up with me after 4 hours of sleep the night before, before chionging straight for 2 back-to-back Psychology lectures which were definitely mind-draining. And back home to teach.
Moved my piano into my new room, and I'm definitely enjoying the surrround sound the cosy room provides. Whoever could sing and sing...till her voice becomes hoarse? Knowing music has got to be the greatest gift I suppose, for today lah.
Yet I hate to be up at this time of the night because I think so much. Think about how my life has been...how screwed up it has been because I have allowed myself to be bullied by others way too easily. Seems lately that I've been allowing myself to be walked all over, to be trampled on again and again, until I guess I've gotten so immune to the hurt, but maybe not. A fresh feeling of hurt takes over each time that happens, and I wonder when I will ever heal again. Putting on a cheery smile is a wonderful thing to do everyday because it takes my mind off unhappy things. Like going gaga over cute guys with mesmerizing eyes, over the niceness of friends and their total sweetness towards me...I seriously never felt so loved for a long time. Yet there is always this part of me who will remain melancholic and upset with thew whole world (for what I do not know man)
Training starts at 11.30am tomorrow and I'm obviously not letting myself get enough sleep. Perhaps I'm just trying to wear myself out so badly that I'll just collapse on the sofa and sleep till its finally time to wake up. Hah. I'm kinda looking forward to all the different Sports Club Projects coz they are definitely gonna occupy my time and prevent me from thinking too much.
"When you are close to tears remember, someday its gonna be all over..."
Wednesday, January 12, 2005Fatigue is catching up with me after 4 hours of sleep the night before, before chionging straight for 2 back-to-back Psychology lectures which were definitely mind-draining. And back home to teach.
Moved my piano into my new room, and I'm definitely enjoying the surrround sound the cosy room provides. Whoever could sing and sing...till her voice becomes hoarse? Knowing music has got to be the greatest gift I suppose, for today lah.
Yet I hate to be up at this time of the night because I think so much. Think about how my life has been...how screwed up it has been because I have allowed myself to be bullied by others way too easily. Seems lately that I've been allowing myself to be walked all over, to be trampled on again and again, until I guess I've gotten so immune to the hurt, but maybe not. A fresh feeling of hurt takes over each time that happens, and I wonder when I will ever heal again. Putting on a cheery smile is a wonderful thing to do everyday because it takes my mind off unhappy things. Like going gaga over cute guys with mesmerizing eyes, over the niceness of friends and their total sweetness towards me...I seriously never felt so loved for a long time. Yet there is always this part of me who will remain melancholic and upset with thew whole world (for what I do not know man)
Training starts at 11.30am tomorrow and I'm obviously not letting myself get enough sleep. Perhaps I'm just trying to wear myself out so badly that I'll just collapse on the sofa and sleep till its finally time to wake up. Hah. I'm kinda looking forward to all the different Sports Club Projects coz they are definitely gonna occupy my time and prevent me from thinking too much.
"When you are close to tears remember, someday its gonna be all over..."
Top on my wishlist - iPod Shuffle. That...is what I call, sleek.
I want it!
Its been a really fast-paced few days since Saturday. Teaching and everything never fail to burn my weekends straight out. Its Monday - back to school again. For all the shit that has happened, thank God my lectures are all after 12pm save for Friday's 8am-12pm two Psychology lectures.
Battling against a myriad of emotions, I realised I emerged a stronger person. Actually, maybe its because I am so dead tired with everything that I have just decided to stop controlling my life and live for the moment. I am so thankful for the amount of close friends I have discovered when I was truly down, for their company and all, and myself for achieving neutrality and love but not otherwise. :)
How can it be possible to hate anyone? Hate is such a strong word - I hardly dare to use it on anyone I know myself. Nothing measures up to the feeling "hate", not even boiling rage and fury. (My English isn't very good, I'm sure you can think of more colourful descriptions). Anyway, back to "hate". I am so happy I never learnt to hate.
I sure don't know what the hell this entry is actually about, because I'm pretty tired after a trip to Ikea today. Bought a clothes rack for clubroom as well as file holders..and of course, the hotdog bun which Kim Long commented I look soooo satisfied eating it. *grin* Alas, couldn't find my cap nor my Nalgene bottle (sold out!) nor my sports bra.
Tireddddddddddd.
Sunday, January 09, 2005I want it!
Its been a really fast-paced few days since Saturday. Teaching and everything never fail to burn my weekends straight out. Its Monday - back to school again. For all the shit that has happened, thank God my lectures are all after 12pm save for Friday's 8am-12pm two Psychology lectures.
Battling against a myriad of emotions, I realised I emerged a stronger person. Actually, maybe its because I am so dead tired with everything that I have just decided to stop controlling my life and live for the moment. I am so thankful for the amount of close friends I have discovered when I was truly down, for their company and all, and myself for achieving neutrality and love but not otherwise. :)
How can it be possible to hate anyone? Hate is such a strong word - I hardly dare to use it on anyone I know myself. Nothing measures up to the feeling "hate", not even boiling rage and fury. (My English isn't very good, I'm sure you can think of more colourful descriptions). Anyway, back to "hate". I am so happy I never learnt to hate.
I sure don't know what the hell this entry is actually about, because I'm pretty tired after a trip to Ikea today. Bought a clothes rack for clubroom as well as file holders..and of course, the hotdog bun which Kim Long commented I look soooo satisfied eating it. *grin* Alas, couldn't find my cap nor my Nalgene bottle (sold out!) nor my sports bra.
Tireddddddddddd.
Sometimes I like to disappear into my own lala-land and wish for a couple of things. Say, the ability to teleport to anywhere I like - that's one example. Perhaps another is...a wish to excel in everything I do...and I really mean, everything. That's being so greedy, but I'm in my lala-land afterall. I don't care what you think about it, I need a dreamland to drift off to when things get too crazy in reality.
And I therefore define human nature as loving the impossible, and wanting the unattainable.
How true.
My weekends are how no-life now. Monday-Friday in school; Friday, Saturday, Sunday evenings are spent teaching piano; Saturday or Sunday afternoons are spent floorballing. Or flooble-ling as he calls it. Maybe I do it the flooble style...that's why I'm forever just warming the bench. *shrugs*
Now that the little kids are back in school, I had a fine time observing the TKGians and their so called boyfriends. And of course the fashion trends they are setting with their school uniforms. The belt is still worn as low as ever, but the nametags are pinned to the belt-loops these days. Oh man, in those days we didn't even bother about nametags. The socks are as low as they can get so that they disappear into the whitish shoes-which-attempt-to-look-like-oh-so-cool-skater-shoes (in those days it was as high as we could pull! *roars with laughter*) and hairbands on their heads which do not hold up fringes but are kiaped to the head just for show. (in those days who bothers about hairbands). I saw this TKGian dating a St Pats boy (sec 3 probably because his white pants look whiter than his shirt) and trying to be oh-so-cool with her friends. Carrying handphones and sms-ing away. Sigh. Oh and not to mention those schools with typical blouses tucked into skirts...oh dear, I've seen girls tucking in all the way and squeezing their skirts into what looks like a corset to me. And it suddenly strikes me that every female has a short body. Otherwise why would the waists of their skirts be tucked right under their bras? What idiots we must have looked when we were the ones back in secondary school.
It reminds me of how I used to mistake TKGians for those green dustbins at the bus-stops when I wasn't wearing my specs.
The bed beckons. To bed. :)
Friday, January 07, 2005And I therefore define human nature as loving the impossible, and wanting the unattainable.
How true.
My weekends are how no-life now. Monday-Friday in school; Friday, Saturday, Sunday evenings are spent teaching piano; Saturday or Sunday afternoons are spent floorballing. Or flooble-ling as he calls it. Maybe I do it the flooble style...that's why I'm forever just warming the bench. *shrugs*
Now that the little kids are back in school, I had a fine time observing the TKGians and their so called boyfriends. And of course the fashion trends they are setting with their school uniforms. The belt is still worn as low as ever, but the nametags are pinned to the belt-loops these days. Oh man, in those days we didn't even bother about nametags. The socks are as low as they can get so that they disappear into the whitish shoes-which-attempt-to-look-like-oh-so-cool-skater-shoes (in those days it was as high as we could pull! *roars with laughter*) and hairbands on their heads which do not hold up fringes but are kiaped to the head just for show. (in those days who bothers about hairbands). I saw this TKGian dating a St Pats boy (sec 3 probably because his white pants look whiter than his shirt) and trying to be oh-so-cool with her friends. Carrying handphones and sms-ing away. Sigh. Oh and not to mention those schools with typical blouses tucked into skirts...oh dear, I've seen girls tucking in all the way and squeezing their skirts into what looks like a corset to me. And it suddenly strikes me that every female has a short body. Otherwise why would the waists of their skirts be tucked right under their bras? What idiots we must have looked when we were the ones back in secondary school.
It reminds me of how I used to mistake TKGians for those green dustbins at the bus-stops when I wasn't wearing my specs.
The bed beckons. To bed. :)
The CORS bidding system never fails to irritate everybody twice a year. I am glad to get over it at last. Though the modules I got weren't the very best. Nevertheless, Science of Music and the Horror of the Other should be exciting enough to carry me forth through the term.
Tomorrow sees a match against NTU.
Feelings?
Don't know.
Been through too many times of self-esteem being put down that I no longer feel anything. Perhaps maybe to prove that I'm worth more than what people think I am.
Bazaar at NUS Forum (Central Lib there) on Monday and Tuesday. :)
Monday, January 03, 2005Tomorrow sees a match against NTU.
Feelings?
Don't know.
Been through too many times of self-esteem being put down that I no longer feel anything. Perhaps maybe to prove that I'm worth more than what people think I am.
Bazaar at NUS Forum (Central Lib there) on Monday and Tuesday. :)
Its 2005.
I realised I haven't been blogging much on what I've been doing, but basically training, and more training. The league starts this Saturday against NTU..and frankly speaking, I'm not feeling very high about it, especially when I know my shots are rated terrible.
Met up with old friends, and I truly realise the importance of friendships that have begun 5 years ago. Met up with people like Mingzhen, Jamie, Derrick, Darren, my 3 best buddies from primary school...we entered the comfort zone where we are able to pick up a conversation left hanging 5 years ago and continue from there...chilling over coffee has never been a better highlight of my life.
Tomorrow am probably going to meet more old friends. Yay? Yay. :)
Tomorrow(or rather today) is first day of school. All the little Primary 1s go to school, a beginning of a new chapter of life for the Sec 1s and J1s.
My god-family gave me a super nice watch for X'mas. When you see me around, ask me to flaunt it. I love it so very much!
I realised I haven't been blogging much on what I've been doing, but basically training, and more training. The league starts this Saturday against NTU..and frankly speaking, I'm not feeling very high about it, especially when I know my shots are rated terrible.
Met up with old friends, and I truly realise the importance of friendships that have begun 5 years ago. Met up with people like Mingzhen, Jamie, Derrick, Darren, my 3 best buddies from primary school...we entered the comfort zone where we are able to pick up a conversation left hanging 5 years ago and continue from there...chilling over coffee has never been a better highlight of my life.
Tomorrow am probably going to meet more old friends. Yay? Yay. :)
Tomorrow(or rather today) is first day of school. All the little Primary 1s go to school, a beginning of a new chapter of life for the Sec 1s and J1s.
My god-family gave me a super nice watch for X'mas. When you see me around, ask me to flaunt it. I love it so very much!