It dawned upon me that the company I hang out with these days are either attached, or married.
Allowing my wild thoughts to surface, I also came to a conclusion that in general, I might very well end up being a fellow bitching partner to the females, and a much appreciated refreshing change to the men. The occasional dose of this refreshing change allows everybody to return to their partners with a fresh perspective and to begin loving them all over again. You've almost got those vibes right: I am not one for keeps indeed, perhaps one just for fun and company with no strings attached...please play, enjoy your stay, and return home finally from your holiday.
The intrigue only lasts for that short while. It disappears when I reveal the weaker side, the typical feminine side that lashes out when the masculine side decides to be sick of shouldering everybody's problems. Them who are struck still by my so-called "intriguing self" find that they cannot handle the Pandora's box of evils once they have opened it, and they back off..very far away. They fit themselves back into the works of life and pretend nothing has ever happened, while the evils dislodged swirl around their next potential victim, disappearing back to the box when needed but all ready to emerge...anytime.
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Man, I hate the way my thoughts flow these days/nights/doesn't matter. My sentences only reflect my thoughts too well - they are disjointed, they do not flow properly, the vocabulary's really limited, the grammar will probably follow suit as well. The paragraphs do not start on a strong note, they end off halfway as random as they can be...heck, nothing makes sense.
Is this what's gonna happen the longer I stay in where I am? The feeling of stagnation (or is it some other word?), the slow disappearance of words from my mind...all these are only hard facts of life. It's time to read, it's time to question, it's time to observe, it's time to sit down to coffee and people watch - and write. It's time to move up but...there's no time I can find.
People always say, "Time is what you make out of it." Throw me a blender and I might make a cup of orange juice packed with pulp and all, but I can't do that with time. I have squeezed what I could - work, news, exercise, a social life, enough sleep, my passion, side jobs into my schedule and there is no way of squeezing more. What do I do now?
Allowing my wild thoughts to surface, I also came to a conclusion that in general, I might very well end up being a fellow bitching partner to the females, and a much appreciated refreshing change to the men. The occasional dose of this refreshing change allows everybody to return to their partners with a fresh perspective and to begin loving them all over again. You've almost got those vibes right: I am not one for keeps indeed, perhaps one just for fun and company with no strings attached...please play, enjoy your stay, and return home finally from your holiday.
The intrigue only lasts for that short while. It disappears when I reveal the weaker side, the typical feminine side that lashes out when the masculine side decides to be sick of shouldering everybody's problems. Them who are struck still by my so-called "intriguing self" find that they cannot handle the Pandora's box of evils once they have opened it, and they back off..very far away. They fit themselves back into the works of life and pretend nothing has ever happened, while the evils dislodged swirl around their next potential victim, disappearing back to the box when needed but all ready to emerge...anytime.
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Man, I hate the way my thoughts flow these days/nights/doesn't matter. My sentences only reflect my thoughts too well - they are disjointed, they do not flow properly, the vocabulary's really limited, the grammar will probably follow suit as well. The paragraphs do not start on a strong note, they end off halfway as random as they can be...heck, nothing makes sense.
Is this what's gonna happen the longer I stay in where I am? The feeling of stagnation (or is it some other word?), the slow disappearance of words from my mind...all these are only hard facts of life. It's time to read, it's time to question, it's time to observe, it's time to sit down to coffee and people watch - and write. It's time to move up but...there's no time I can find.
People always say, "Time is what you make out of it." Throw me a blender and I might make a cup of orange juice packed with pulp and all, but I can't do that with time. I have squeezed what I could - work, news, exercise, a social life, enough sleep, my passion, side jobs into my schedule and there is no way of squeezing more. What do I do now?
I feel myself not being able to contribute to intelligent conversations when I used to dig such great coffee-chats in the past. I feel myself sliding lower the IQ table as I struggle to find topics to talk about. It is too easy to get stuck in the race towards our downfall as we get blinded by our potential seats on the pot of gold, fame and success. It is too easy to scorn others for not being able to follow when we are blind to our own lack of intelligence - experts only in our own field of knowledge and complete fools to the rest. It is too easy to hide behind templates of standard procedures and avoid exposing our lazy minds to critical issues.
Beauty World...Cha Cha Cha
In summary, I thought it was a pretty good show with great female vocals, but sad to say I found the male (lead) vocals a little disappointing. I thought that pai-kia lookin' Ah Hock (Daren Tan) could have stretched his vocal range a little more, considering how limited and a little off-key he was when he was tired. Dwayne Tan, who played the other male lead, was truly hilarious in his version of "I...I....I....Ivyyyyyyyyy" (oh, so Singaporean, really).
More impressive were the performances by Denise Tan (carabet star, Lulu) and lead Elena Wang (Ivy, goodie-two shoes girl who worked in a carabet to find out who her father was). I absolutely loved the way how Denise Tan coyly sauntered about in her dress injecting sentences of, "Everybody loves Lulu!" in that half-hiccup voice of hers, but what won me over were their vocals...with Denise Tan's rich and sonorous ringing through crisp and clear, whilst Elena Wang took her place at the other extreme with her warm and harmonious lyrics spun with emotions.
Irene Ang (as ah-soh club caretaker, Wan Choo) couldn't have been any more ah soh even if she tried - right smack down to staccato swearing in the Cantonese language versus the very typical Singlish like "Aiyo, I dunch know!" Alongside with her was equally Mummy-ish Neo Swee Lin - bringing back the nostalgia of the 1960s.
Beauty World is Singapore. It is typical Singapore in all forms - language, people (where else do pai kias like Ah Hock exist?), mannerisms (think Wan Choo and her ah sohness), setting, and even the jokes cracked...all these have flavours of Singapore in them. It articulates Singapore in a way that only those who have busked in the culture of Singapore will appreciate the musical. My two thumbs up to it.
Looks like my stint in National Arts Council will bring plenty of these in 2008, yeah?
Saturday, January 19, 2008In summary, I thought it was a pretty good show with great female vocals, but sad to say I found the male (lead) vocals a little disappointing. I thought that pai-kia lookin' Ah Hock (Daren Tan) could have stretched his vocal range a little more, considering how limited and a little off-key he was when he was tired. Dwayne Tan, who played the other male lead, was truly hilarious in his version of "I...I....I....Ivyyyyyyyyy" (oh, so Singaporean, really).
More impressive were the performances by Denise Tan (carabet star, Lulu) and lead Elena Wang (Ivy, goodie-two shoes girl who worked in a carabet to find out who her father was). I absolutely loved the way how Denise Tan coyly sauntered about in her dress injecting sentences of, "Everybody loves Lulu!" in that half-hiccup voice of hers, but what won me over were their vocals...with Denise Tan's rich and sonorous ringing through crisp and clear, whilst Elena Wang took her place at the other extreme with her warm and harmonious lyrics spun with emotions.
Irene Ang (as ah-soh club caretaker, Wan Choo) couldn't have been any more ah soh even if she tried - right smack down to staccato swearing in the Cantonese language versus the very typical Singlish like "Aiyo, I dunch know!" Alongside with her was equally Mummy-ish Neo Swee Lin - bringing back the nostalgia of the 1960s.
Beauty World is Singapore. It is typical Singapore in all forms - language, people (where else do pai kias like Ah Hock exist?), mannerisms (think Wan Choo and her ah sohness), setting, and even the jokes cracked...all these have flavours of Singapore in them. It articulates Singapore in a way that only those who have busked in the culture of Singapore will appreciate the musical. My two thumbs up to it.
Looks like my stint in National Arts Council will bring plenty of these in 2008, yeah?
Kindness begets kindness; similarly, nonchalance brings about a little nudging, then nonchalance. Some people observe the 3-times rule - ask a girl out once, she says no, we try again. Ask a girl out consecutively for the third time, if she says no once more, there is no more questions asked. So ladies, be coy, but don't stretch it.
They say, treat a girl too well and she takes advantage of the situation and you get bullied into submission; treat a girl like a piece of trash and she will cling to you for life. Bullshit, I say. There is always a balance to everything in life - be nice to a lady, she will appreciate it. But of course it wouldn't do to shower her with a Tiffany's every week nor sing love ballads to her every other night, but perhaps the simplest hello, how have you been baby? would have been your life savior for the day.
So, how do you play the dating game? Many often do not realise that the man/woman of their dreams might be way above what the individual is capable of. Obvious example: if you like someone who doesn't breathe down your neck all the time, calls you everyday, smses you ten times a day, you had better like the seemingly-nonchalant, busy bees who will probably sms you to say hello, meet once a week for dinner, and yada yada. Can't handle that? Go back to your "sticky girlfriends".
I am done with my musings for the night. Beauty World will arrive on the next post, if I ever do sit down to it. :)
Tuesday, January 15, 2008They say, treat a girl too well and she takes advantage of the situation and you get bullied into submission; treat a girl like a piece of trash and she will cling to you for life. Bullshit, I say. There is always a balance to everything in life - be nice to a lady, she will appreciate it. But of course it wouldn't do to shower her with a Tiffany's every week nor sing love ballads to her every other night, but perhaps the simplest hello, how have you been baby? would have been your life savior for the day.
So, how do you play the dating game? Many often do not realise that the man/woman of their dreams might be way above what the individual is capable of. Obvious example: if you like someone who doesn't breathe down your neck all the time, calls you everyday, smses you ten times a day, you had better like the seemingly-nonchalant, busy bees who will probably sms you to say hello, meet once a week for dinner, and yada yada. Can't handle that? Go back to your "sticky girlfriends".
I am done with my musings for the night. Beauty World will arrive on the next post, if I ever do sit down to it. :)
The very famous Men are from Mars; Women are from Venus book is not quite an interesting read as I thought it would be. Neither is it the bible of relationships, for it does not seemingly solve the fundamental problems of connecting and communicating with the other gender. Perhaps it does, for it highlights the basic and very general behavior of men and women if left to their own devices.
Summary being, men are more straight-forward in their thought processes, focusing on the big picture while women tend to beat around the bush, emphasizing on detail and everything peripheral - how she feels, how she thinks her man feels, what she should feel, what she thinks her man should feel - except the main problem.
True, true. But I have had my share of men dumping their basket of emotions and problems on me, seemingly similar to that of a woman going berserk on her man simply because he couldn't make it to an appointment because of his work. What is this, the reversal of roles? Perhaps it is the era of "contemporary thoughts and behavior", for we have our men dressing in skinny jeans and keeping long and wavy hair, applying make-up; and our women gearing themselves for power-dressing in pants-suits, laced up heels as well as top hats.
Watch how it swings from supermodels and bra-clad women sashaying along the streets to hunks and toyboys appearing on entertainment talk shows and programmes.
Of course, that is, besides the point. Men are from Mars; Women are from Venus addresses the communication problem between couples, which also boils down to not being able to understand what the other party is actually thinking. Guilty, as charged, I am one of those women who are damn politically correct in what I say, advice and blah, when deep down inside I might really be just one of those bitches you wish you never knew. Ha-ha.
It must be tiring playing all these mind games (subconsciously, or not) with each other. Ms A complains that Mr B does not want to commit to her, while Mr B is trying to second guess what Ms A meant by that accusation, yet at the same time seemingly pushing him away. Ms A wants Mr B to treat her like a queen, yet at the same time does not want to be Mr B's girlfriend because she knows it will only turn out for the worst. At the same time Mr B wants to be nice to Ms A but when he does, he gets scorned by Ms A for not having a mind of his own...and the story goes on.
We spend too much time guessing at what the other party is thinking, reading signs and signals that our other halves send out and trying to react to those signs with what we want to communicate across. In return, our actions are interpreted by the other party, which...might be very well wrong and it downspirals into a disastrous misunderstanding. Aiya, but it is probably equally difficult to be straightforward about our true feelings because it is a risk. A risk that our true selves, when put out there - defenceless, vulnerable and prone to hurt - might encounter a mishap which damages the self confidence, ego and esteem. Too often people take for granted others' sincerity...and well, shit happens, so they say.
One not-so-thought-provoking blog post and I am still on the verge of falling asleep. Damn, I do need my coffee fix.
Sunday, January 13, 2008Summary being, men are more straight-forward in their thought processes, focusing on the big picture while women tend to beat around the bush, emphasizing on detail and everything peripheral - how she feels, how she thinks her man feels, what she should feel, what she thinks her man should feel - except the main problem.
True, true. But I have had my share of men dumping their basket of emotions and problems on me, seemingly similar to that of a woman going berserk on her man simply because he couldn't make it to an appointment because of his work. What is this, the reversal of roles? Perhaps it is the era of "contemporary thoughts and behavior", for we have our men dressing in skinny jeans and keeping long and wavy hair, applying make-up; and our women gearing themselves for power-dressing in pants-suits, laced up heels as well as top hats.
Watch how it swings from supermodels and bra-clad women sashaying along the streets to hunks and toyboys appearing on entertainment talk shows and programmes.
Of course, that is, besides the point. Men are from Mars; Women are from Venus addresses the communication problem between couples, which also boils down to not being able to understand what the other party is actually thinking. Guilty, as charged, I am one of those women who are damn politically correct in what I say, advice and blah, when deep down inside I might really be just one of those bitches you wish you never knew. Ha-ha.
It must be tiring playing all these mind games (subconsciously, or not) with each other. Ms A complains that Mr B does not want to commit to her, while Mr B is trying to second guess what Ms A meant by that accusation, yet at the same time seemingly pushing him away. Ms A wants Mr B to treat her like a queen, yet at the same time does not want to be Mr B's girlfriend because she knows it will only turn out for the worst. At the same time Mr B wants to be nice to Ms A but when he does, he gets scorned by Ms A for not having a mind of his own...and the story goes on.
We spend too much time guessing at what the other party is thinking, reading signs and signals that our other halves send out and trying to react to those signs with what we want to communicate across. In return, our actions are interpreted by the other party, which...might be very well wrong and it downspirals into a disastrous misunderstanding. Aiya, but it is probably equally difficult to be straightforward about our true feelings because it is a risk. A risk that our true selves, when put out there - defenceless, vulnerable and prone to hurt - might encounter a mishap which damages the self confidence, ego and esteem. Too often people take for granted others' sincerity...and well, shit happens, so they say.
One not-so-thought-provoking blog post and I am still on the verge of falling asleep. Damn, I do need my coffee fix.
It may be a tad too late (or early, as some would put it), but I am slowly discovering places to chill, away from the mainstream wannabes Singaporeans. Overlooking the city's bright lights with a jazz singer in the background, I might...just perhaps feel like a vampire soaring above the city, in the dead of the night (not quite so dead, really).
The beauty of such places lies in the ambience, the peace and wonderful company. Very unfortunately, they have been discovered by the one or two odd wannabes, who strive to see and to be seen. More of the latter, these people attempt (note: attempt) to dress-walk-speak-act in the finer fashion. Of course, one can always take the man out of the village, but never the village out of the man.
On Thursday night, a couple walked in and took a seat next to me, sat down, poured through the menu and finally ordered...a pot of camomile tea and a glass of orange juice. The lady's handbag was gaping open and sat daintily behind her, with a packet of Laurier's 10-pack pad (with wings) grinning up at me. Minus points for a non-tampon user, minus more points for her outright display of Laurier's. Minus more points for dressing up, only to sit and order oh-so-boring orange juice. She eventually scored a grand total of 1/10 when she conversed in Chinese.
On Friday night, I was out with the bears and Kiat, enjoying one very nice platter of kickass caesar salad paired with some Spanish red wine, only to glance over to my right to take in the sight of a group of men and ladies who seem to have came straight from the office. It dawned upon me that office ladies look hot only in their office wear, simply because office wear is so safe that it acts like a uniform.
Think the standard blouse/some sleeveless top, paired with fitting pants and a jacket, with some killer heels (that are usually $10-$20 these days), and there, you have a pretty hot office babe. Put those ladies through Friday's dress-downs and true colours emerge - we get ah lians' version of glam wear in unsightly cotton tanks and spaghetti straps, topped with gray bra straps and whatever funky colours one could think of, denim skirts which are the wrong colour, wrong shade and wrong fit (imagine a denim skirt which doesn't shape the butt), and finally, strapped wedged thongs with a glittery bling-bling attached. Oh, and did I mention
about hideous make-up which seems a little too bright, too fake, and simply wrongly matched.
What do the men see in them?!
9 hours of work, 2 hours of travelling time, 7 hours of sleep. That leaves 5 hours of time for myself. 2 more hours shaved off for exercise/driving, that leaves 3 hours to catch up with friends, take a bath and perhaps crawl to bed.
No wonder working people never do have a life, unless they sacrifice sleep. No wonder everybody ends up with eye-bags and dark circles. No...wonder....
It gets tremendously difficult to maintain a balance in life; it takes an effort not to get sucked into the working culture itself and still have a social life outside. Weekend rides are increasingly frustrating as it is almost impossible to revise old tricks, let alone learn new ones.
These are times when I wish I have the ability to teleport. Anywhere, with a mere snap of the fingers. Mmm.
Tuesday, January 01, 2008No wonder working people never do have a life, unless they sacrifice sleep. No wonder everybody ends up with eye-bags and dark circles. No...wonder....
It gets tremendously difficult to maintain a balance in life; it takes an effort not to get sucked into the working culture itself and still have a social life outside. Weekend rides are increasingly frustrating as it is almost impossible to revise old tricks, let alone learn new ones.
These are times when I wish I have the ability to teleport. Anywhere, with a mere snap of the fingers. Mmm.
2008. I step into the year, unsure and wary. I resolve to open myself up to those who matter, this year.
2007. Too many taken-for-granted incidents, mishaps and sense of loss. I've lost myself a couple of these times, I don't ever want to have to find myself once more. 2007. Too many things happened. Good times, bad times. I don't know.
2008. Still too many questions running through my head. You are the enigma, hence the intrigue.
2007. Unresolved.
2008. Pause, reflect, move on.
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Crossing from 2007 to 2008 this year leaves plenty to be desired. Today (Monday) I finish off 2007 with my last weekday ride with the SIM riders. Tonight (Tuesday morning) I idle awake at 2.15am in the morning, of freedom and lack of responsibilities. Hello phase #10 of my life, please make your stay comfortable. There are still questions aplenty...to which I wonder if I would ever find the answer to.
Disjointed sentences, random thoughts, incoherent meanings to my words. Exact reflections of 1st January 2008. Sigh.
2007. Too many taken-for-granted incidents, mishaps and sense of loss. I've lost myself a couple of these times, I don't ever want to have to find myself once more. 2007. Too many things happened. Good times, bad times. I don't know.
2008. Still too many questions running through my head. You are the enigma, hence the intrigue.
2007. Unresolved.
2008. Pause, reflect, move on.
-------------------------
Crossing from 2007 to 2008 this year leaves plenty to be desired. Today (Monday) I finish off 2007 with my last weekday ride with the SIM riders. Tonight (Tuesday morning) I idle awake at 2.15am in the morning, of freedom and lack of responsibilities. Hello phase #10 of my life, please make your stay comfortable. There are still questions aplenty...to which I wonder if I would ever find the answer to.
Disjointed sentences, random thoughts, incoherent meanings to my words. Exact reflections of 1st January 2008. Sigh.