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Sunday, February 27, 2005

Today's meet up with Suzanne, Christina and Huiyu at Thai Express was simply smashing. Good food and good company - what more can one ask for?

Was walking around in Suntec and I realised I feel the urge to shop again because I haven't been shopping for a longggggggg time. There were so many things I wanted to buy..more tops, 7/8th pants, more earrings, rings and bracelets..bought 2 polo tee-shirts from HangTen today, 3 pieces of 40x50cm paper to be hung up on my wall...yay and I wanna buy more stuff!

Life for me now is much better, now that I'm back on track again. There are still notice boards to be done, they are indeed a pain in the ass because I'm freaking lazy to do them up. Open house is in 2 weeks time, followed by a whole series of tests, assignments and presentations due. That's the period I'll start complaining again I suppose.

My left eye is red and swollen again..I pray so hard that it is not an infection like I had last year..*sigh* Maybe its because of my newly chopped fringe that keeps irritating my eye, maybe its because that I've been wearing my contact lens for super long hours...I don't know..I don't know how to take care of myself man.

I suddenly recalled what he commented last year..how our tummies will touch first before any other part of the body when we hug..yeah..and suddenly Sharon said the same thing to me during TUSH when I was dancing with her..shucks. It only means one thing - I'm not getting any thinner.

Was talking to my mum and weighing out me getting a license and driving around, and taking a taxi as and when I really need to - we agreed that me taking a taxi outweighs me getting a license and a car for myself. Which, come to think of it, is pretty true. Still having a headache over what I should really major in..but at this point of time..Thai Express' yellow seafood curry with steamed rice is still happily sitting in my tummy, my brain is currently on strike. *grin*

Still in search of TLC...

x`p
12:08 AM

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Wednesday, February 23, 2005

3 questions that have been bugging me of late:

Q1. Why are cute guys short?
Q2. Why do tall guys still like short girls?
Q3. Why do some cute guys have terrible EQs?

Life ain't fair.

I wish I didn't drink that fast and that much last night, I wish I never had to turn up for TUSH. I wish I never had a fetish for guys who look really good in shirts, and I wish a million things that happened in my life never happened. I wish my mum married a smaller leaner guy. Before you start accusing me of blaming my parents, just think about how you'd feel in my shoes. Really think. And I bet you'll feel the same sometimes. (note: sometimes)

I'm getting sick of the shit my mother wants me to believe, that tall girls have it good and all. Except for the fresh air up there, everything else stinks. Its intidimating to many, its hard to get clothes, it...I believe I do not have to elaborate further.

The term-break isn't really a break..with so many things to do in school and endless work piling up on my desk. The module, Science of Music ain't that great either...I don't see why people spend 1000 over points bidding for it.

I want some TLC in my life. (read: TLC = tender loving care..in case you don't know)

Pui.

x`p
8:59 PM

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Friday, February 18, 2005

How my Friday went:
PL2131 test was at 8am today. I woke up at 8.15am to Crystal's sms. "Oh shit I'm fucking late!" and dashed to the toilet, wearing Sharon's specs instead of my own. Was happily brushing my teeth until I realised I wore Sharon's specs. 10 seconds later Sharon rushed into the toilet and started scrubbing her teeth and muttering "I'm late!". Splashed water and facial foam on my face - the fastest wash up ever. The dash up the stairs, Sharon already changed and was about to go. No time to change into nice stuff, threw on a jersey and chionged out of the room. Waited for damn A1 to come. Reached LT 40 min late for the test.

PL3233. Started whining about how I can't finish studying. Decided not to study anymore. Took the test. Came back to club room and started laughing about the spectacle incident. You see, Sharon accidentally wore my glasses before as well.

Back home to teach. Some kid puked on the MRT today. Eew. =\

The highlight of the day? To Storm to cut my hair! Peter did a wonderful job today..I'm loving my hair now! Chopped off my fringe and layered it a thousand times more. I love you Peter! *grin*

Would love to post pictures of my narcissistic self but alas, no camera.

x`p
10:24 PM

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Tuesday, February 08, 2005

Enlightenment - before I forget it all and start spinning around uncontrollably again.

Everyday has been an attempt to regain control of my life. Reason why I am not able to do so is pretty simple: I spend so much time running about to keep up with my schedule and wonder why the hell I am not able to sit back and enjoy life whizzing past me instead. Most of the time I am in control: juggling floorball, some club work, teaching piano back home and school work. Sounds pretty simple, from the way I speak of it. The truth is, I am deeply affected by this schedule of mine because along with floorball comes along the physical and mental test of the sport, the stress due to trying to keep up with schoolwork and completing club work, and worrying about my students' progress every week.

After each practice I walk back to the club room tired and all and wondered whether the training was good. Sometimes it was way way bad because I know I could have done better like not miss the ball, shoot better and perhaps make an attempt to sprint all the way back for defence after losing the ball while attacking. I put aside club work for some school work (which I don't really know how to go about doing) and end up with piles of uncompleted publicity stuff. Which of course results from further stress from the higher authorities. The feeling of frustration at not knowing what I'm actually studying about, the fear of doing badly in my studies is overwhelming as well.

I have too had my share of people stepping through my life and are out to hurt me without thinking twice. Which is probably why I have built up a wall around myself and regard everybody around me with suspicion, knowing well that they might potentially hurt me if I try to get too close to them. Why all those unnecessary feelings? Compared to the past, I have literally shut myself up much much more because of this fear uncalled for. Its a defence mechanism really, I wished I can open myself up to others much more and hurt less people. Talking to XH made me realise that I am comfortable living this way without the capacity to care for a special someone in my life, simply because I'm going through a phase where I need my own private space desperately. Even if a normal friend happens to drop by NUS without informing me beforehand, or insists on coming despite me telling him/her that I have something to do, I tend to get pretty annoyed simply because I want the time for myself - be it to relax, or to do my work. (note: Terrence it doesn't mean you. You and Mark are like angels to me!) I do understand this is pretty sensitive issue because some friends want to drop by because we haven't met for a long time, but I really can't help feeling this way. *sigh*

Looking back, I wonder when I will ever make time for this special someone, if he does come by. I planned a busy schedule to keep myself from thinking too much, and I ended up with a failed relationship due to my neglect towards that unfortunate guy who happened to be with me. An unfortunate incident, a wake up call which obviously failed to wake me up, because I am still squeezing stuff into my over-packed schedule. It is funny I'm complaining about it because it was afterall, myself who planned this shit for myself.

It isn't that unhappy a life I lead really. The problem is I tend to get too carried away by the stress that accumulates over time and I get really down, after which I bounce back up again and continue life like it was without the glitch I tripped over. I still miss him, I really do, but I know things will never be the same again because who I am now. My blog posts really sound so sad, but the truth is, I'm probably just wistful over what has happened in the short span of probably half a year. I still enjoy life despite feeling like what I do in my blog, I still love what I'm doing despite my cursing and swearing everytime a new piece of work squeezes into my time and such.

Which leads on to, why blog? To sum it up: people who do not blog will never understand why people blog. Because it serves as an outlet to release the pent up frustrations building inside me. It is better to scream myself hoarse (through loud banging of the keyboard) through my blog than to roar at an innocent friend who has to bear the brunt of it all. I hurt less people this way, and there will be no consequences to answer to simply because everything is written down in a (supposedly) calm way. My feelings are banished to the virtual world online and I remain a calm person in reality. And of course, given busy schedules, blogs are probably the few ways where people know what I am up to these days.

The reunion dinner calls. I am hungry. Have a great Chinese New Year readers. :)

x`p
6:09 PM

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Saturday, February 05, 2005

I personally think rich people do not deserve to be rich. Why let a rich man's son win $1000 in 4-D? Why let a rich man's son drive a high-end car around and pick up innocent girls to prey on when there are other guys more worthy of those girls? Why let a rich man win over girls' hearts by buying them expensive gifts (only to break their heart in future) when there are other more eligible guys who just happen not to be so well-to-do?

Most of all, why are such girls so materialistic?

As much as everyone denies it, I believe at least 85% of the girls in Singapore are materialistic in some sense/degree or another. Face it. I believe most girls will rather go out on a date with a guy who has a car compared to one who can't afford to take driving lessons. Seeing how girls out there will sell their bodies for such materialistic ideals of theirs sickens me.

And Friday the 4th of February sucked. At least, it turned bad from 4pm till midnight. The worst way to turn twenty happened yesterday. Happily forgotten.

I still love my floorball girls for getting me my very much needed sports bra. Those darlings..I love you girls! And thanks to all for the wonderful birthday wishes. :) And to the Sports Club people, for throwing a surprise party for me at midnight of Thursday, getting the cheesecake and sparklers...awww, you guys rock!

Despite a horrid ending, despite swollen eyes from crying, you guys made my day/night. Thanks bro, for being there for me...

Met Shuwen for lunch today, did a quick new year's shopping (ie. two tops) There's nothing to buy! High point of the day? I added two studs to my right ear. One at the 3rd earhole and one on top. Pain theraphy to wash away yesterday's down point.

Not to mention Muscle War 2005 was an eye-opener for me. Muscle War = Bodybuilding competition. Woah...those guys had muscle definitions I never thought could be possible. It got interesting to the end, well...I'm still awed by them. The discipline they had to build those muscles and the beauty of those bronzed bodies. Erm, not that I'm literally salivating, nono..beefcakes ain't my type as good/cute/gorgeous as they may look. *grin*

x`p
10:16 PM

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Tuesday, February 01, 2005

I'm hooked onto Ants Marching by Dave Matthews Band - its such a catchy and happy song that I can't help dancing to it.

Had a buffet dinner with my darlings last night (ie floorball people) at Grand Mecure. Nice ambience..totally taitai-ish lah! Haha..and happy birthday Hongyi! *winks* Its really great to see everybody so happy and together in a group again. Boy I miss those days.

Supper with Terrence and Mark, and thanks to them my laptop is up and working again (in a more normal condition)..you guys made my night! *grin*

Beautiful things happen, but they do not erase away the sad incidents in my life.
Why am I such a pathetic soul when it comes to the downs of life?


Poo. *sulks*

x`p
10:43 AM

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| The Girl |
Twenty-two
Aquarian
Just bummin' around
With too much on her mind,
and too limited words to say.



| Living life, Loving it |
music, singing, gerberas, iridiscence, glass bottles, shot glasses, outdoors, sports, writing, milo-peng, earrings, gem stones, bikinis, food, denim skirts, indulgence.


| Reads |
Adrian
Alwyn
Astri
Boo Honk
Cai Xia
Chinying
Derrick
Hildra
Hong Yi
Huiyu
Jasmin
Joyce
Mel
Ming Zhen
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Nicole
Terrence
The Great Jer
Valerie
Weili




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