Floorball girls' BBQ...a roaring success with the fire and the food - but no seniors turned up. *shrugs* I still had my fun with the girls! :) Watched Meet the Fockers at 12 midnight (say, Thursday morning) and it is hilarious! Something worth catching. Of course, I caught Phantom of the Opera too! Powerful performance, beautiful Christine, voices...oh the voices! 2 shows worth catching. Up next is Kung Fu Hustle!
Its Friday, December 31st as I am typing this - the last day of 2004.
It has been a 2004 of ups and downs. Getting a job at HSBC, exposed to the working world, teaching piano in a proper music school, working as a camp instructor, going to University. Making a decision to abandon bowling and stepping into a new sports - floorball, juggling Sports Club, school, floorball, loved ones and friends, studying my ass off to attain my desired grade, meeting new groups of friends, visiting the hospital twice when I have never visited the hospital since I was born...it has been rather eventful hasn't it?
Every year I will look back, and attempt to make New Year's resolutions - alas, do they work? 2005 is going to be busy, with floorball tournaments every weekend, 7 private students to teach piano, Sports Club project/events, maintaining my studies, and Miao. (gracious - many many names, and a thousand apologies! But no fair, Boo isn't fantastic anyway. *winks*)
Therefore, the resolution? Keep juggling till the Sem 2 is over, and keep the balls up there in the air. A test of my physical, mental and emotional endurance.
Saturday, December 25, 2004Its Friday, December 31st as I am typing this - the last day of 2004.
It has been a 2004 of ups and downs. Getting a job at HSBC, exposed to the working world, teaching piano in a proper music school, working as a camp instructor, going to University. Making a decision to abandon bowling and stepping into a new sports - floorball, juggling Sports Club, school, floorball, loved ones and friends, studying my ass off to attain my desired grade, meeting new groups of friends, visiting the hospital twice when I have never visited the hospital since I was born...it has been rather eventful hasn't it?
Every year I will look back, and attempt to make New Year's resolutions - alas, do they work? 2005 is going to be busy, with floorball tournaments every weekend, 7 private students to teach piano, Sports Club project/events, maintaining my studies, and Miao. (gracious - many many names, and a thousand apologies! But no fair, Boo isn't fantastic anyway. *winks*)
Therefore, the resolution? Keep juggling till the Sem 2 is over, and keep the balls up there in the air. A test of my physical, mental and emotional endurance.
Snowflakes fall and all is white
Silvery mist a lonely night
Bells ringing clear
Christmas is here
Card in hand I read the name
Suddenly I'm young again
Thinking of how fate led me to you
Friends we were sometime ago
You came into my life
Guiding me at every step
All at once you've grown
Smiling through my tears of joy
Wishing from my heart
All the love that Christmas brings
To you a merry Christmas.
Thursday, December 23, 2004Silvery mist a lonely night
Bells ringing clear
Christmas is here
Card in hand I read the name
Suddenly I'm young again
Thinking of how fate led me to you
Friends we were sometime ago
You came into my life
Guiding me at every step
All at once you've grown
Smiling through my tears of joy
Wishing from my heart
All the love that Christmas brings
To you a merry Christmas.
Went cable skiing at Batam today. Nice freshwater, exciting speed of 20km/h of moving cable with a little jerk at every turning, but threatening to yank my elbows out of their sockets.
It will be a miracle if I can survive training tomorrow.
And, I have decided to change bits of my character/personality. Its ruining too much of my life.
But first, I will use 3 hours to say goodbye to my old bratty self.
And say hello to the better Xiao Pei when I wake up tomorrow morning.
Tuesday, December 21, 2004It will be a miracle if I can survive training tomorrow.
And, I have decided to change bits of my character/personality. Its ruining too much of my life.
But first, I will use 3 hours to say goodbye to my old bratty self.
And say hello to the better Xiao Pei when I wake up tomorrow morning.
The four girls - together once more, sharing stories, updates, and happenings. How I love them. They make me feel like myself, even for a short while today.
Can't wait to see you girls again.
Wondering if I'm able to make it to the team for the upcoming league. If I don't, it will be a small blessing. If I do, matches will be on Sundays. This means sacrificing my Sundays which are usually meant for teaching piano. It means rescheduling students to other days like weekdays and Saturday evenings (since I have training in the mornings). It means not being to go out on Saturdays. It means busy packed weeks which may call for sacrifice in studies. For one semester. Because once the league is over, the exams begin.
2005's Jan-Apr forsees a screwed up semester for me.
(Don't leave me will you? I will try my best not to neglect you)
Was chatting with my bro, we agreed on this statement of mine that we are fools being kicked around by this thing called "life", and I am indeed spinning off in different directions only to bounce back against a wall, say ouch, and be flung back into space again...till I bounce off another wall.
Looks like retail theraphy today only helped abit. I bought a short black skirt and a long sleeved top. I love them. I do not deny, I may spend on clothes, but there is no doubt that I feel better when my wallet has been emptied. No wonder they call it retail theraphy.
I'm hoping against hope my timetable for 2005 will turn out so well that everything falls into place - my floorball, my studies, my work and other commitments. I'm praying for a miracle, literally.
Come to think of it, the next semester is gonna pass so damn fast that it will be the holidays once more. I don't know whether that is a comfort, or a looming threat.
Fading into oblivion once more. Only one thing can make me surface, but as I look at it now, that tiniest hope seems to be hanging by just one delicate thread. I'm getting too heavy for that one thread to support me.
Don't let me fall. Hold on to me, because my fingers are tired from holding on.
Saturday, December 18, 2004Can't wait to see you girls again.
Wondering if I'm able to make it to the team for the upcoming league. If I don't, it will be a small blessing. If I do, matches will be on Sundays. This means sacrificing my Sundays which are usually meant for teaching piano. It means rescheduling students to other days like weekdays and Saturday evenings (since I have training in the mornings). It means not being to go out on Saturdays. It means busy packed weeks which may call for sacrifice in studies. For one semester. Because once the league is over, the exams begin.
2005's Jan-Apr forsees a screwed up semester for me.
(Don't leave me will you? I will try my best not to neglect you)
Was chatting with my bro, we agreed on this statement of mine that we are fools being kicked around by this thing called "life", and I am indeed spinning off in different directions only to bounce back against a wall, say ouch, and be flung back into space again...till I bounce off another wall.
Looks like retail theraphy today only helped abit. I bought a short black skirt and a long sleeved top. I love them. I do not deny, I may spend on clothes, but there is no doubt that I feel better when my wallet has been emptied. No wonder they call it retail theraphy.
I'm hoping against hope my timetable for 2005 will turn out so well that everything falls into place - my floorball, my studies, my work and other commitments. I'm praying for a miracle, literally.
Come to think of it, the next semester is gonna pass so damn fast that it will be the holidays once more. I don't know whether that is a comfort, or a looming threat.
Though its just a 2 days and 1 night camp, the intensity was certainly there.
Day 1
Training from 2-5pm. Followed by dinner (which is pretty pointless) and a shower (also pointless)..because we have a friendly with SMU girls+ SMU guys + NUS guys after that. 7-10pm, after which we revised tactics till...11pm?
Did I mention that Mac's Chicken Wrap is wonderful?
Video footage of our game with SMU coupled with briefing at night, probably lasted till 2+am. Funny to see myself in action...and I realised I run DAMN SLOW. *disgusted*
Day 2
Breakfast consisted of two half-boiled eggs and milo..very very queasy stomach. Played silly games with the girls..realised each of us have a funny side to us..I think its probably one of the rare times How Chong got to see our clowny sides, especially the year ones. Training - still couldn't shoot. Friendly with the Titans, it gets better as time goes by, our defence is tighter than previous times, could feel it. But getting more tired after every game, maybe because we started to do playups more often..
And we played more.
And more.
I am super sore and tired. Shiok feeling.
Friday, December 17, 2004Day 1
Training from 2-5pm. Followed by dinner (which is pretty pointless) and a shower (also pointless)..because we have a friendly with SMU girls+ SMU guys + NUS guys after that. 7-10pm, after which we revised tactics till...11pm?
Did I mention that Mac's Chicken Wrap is wonderful?
Video footage of our game with SMU coupled with briefing at night, probably lasted till 2+am. Funny to see myself in action...and I realised I run DAMN SLOW. *disgusted*
Day 2
Breakfast consisted of two half-boiled eggs and milo..very very queasy stomach. Played silly games with the girls..realised each of us have a funny side to us..I think its probably one of the rare times How Chong got to see our clowny sides, especially the year ones. Training - still couldn't shoot. Friendly with the Titans, it gets better as time goes by, our defence is tighter than previous times, could feel it. But getting more tired after every game, maybe because we started to do playups more often..
And we played more.
And more.
I am super sore and tired. Shiok feeling.
I'm like Cinderella, waiting for the clock to strike 12. (noon, that is)
Floorball training camp.
Why must instructors chill out session be tonight too?
Is it fated that I have to be too busy for my friends,
That I can't even spend a little time with them?
*sigh* Staring at my alot-of-barang-barang now - sleeping bag, windbreaker, stickbag, shoe bag, backpack and all.
Thank goodness I have my cupboard in the club room to store them in.
Thursday, December 16, 2004Floorball training camp.
Why must instructors chill out session be tonight too?
Is it fated that I have to be too busy for my friends,
That I can't even spend a little time with them?
*sigh* Staring at my alot-of-barang-barang now - sleeping bag, windbreaker, stickbag, shoe bag, backpack and all.
Thank goodness I have my cupboard in the club room to store them in.
I'm back from 3 days and 2 nights at East Coast. I must say I had a great time throughout that 2 days and 2 nights since the 3rd day was a checkout early in the morning, after which I came back home to replenish sleep.
Shared a squeezy living condition with 17 others, but its just as well since I can never sleep much..probably had 4 hours sleep or less everyday, even so I'm just drifting in and out..can very well hear the shuffling of mahjong tiles throughout the night. A full blading session on Tuesday morning, starting from me blading to Macs to deliver back breakfast for the others, playing with the humongous puppy that Richard brought, more blading sessions with the others, and another night blading trip to Bedok Jetty to view the starry starry night.
Sitting at the breakwater is so calming, yet the time spent there causes my inner thoughts to tear at me. Just when I could very well put on a jolly mask to face the world out there, I realised I couldn't do this forever. Trying to pick myself up is a very difficult thing to do, and I almost succeeded. Maybe I shouldn't let my thoughts surface again. But I know I'm truly blessed, with God's grace and forgiveness everytime I do something so wrong; with my friends' care and concern for me, and delighting in their laughter and company; with my physical appearance (as flawed as it may be; with my capabilities.
I simply do not understand how there can be such bastards existing in this world - those guys who will do anything just to get at what is under a girl's skirt. Yet such guys are equipped with a car, money, relatively good looks, and the physique to attract any kind of girls they see as pretty and gullible to fall into their honey-coated trap. It is very sad how many of them exist behind this facade of boyish innocence. It is also very sad about the girls these days, how most girls demand that a guy must have a car in order to date her out. The familiar saying "Girls these days, no car will die". I agree it is very nice to be able to travel around in comfort, to go anywhere in half an hour or less, to rest one's aching legs and let her boyfriend do the work. Pity the guys who do not have the means to get a car - they don't get the babe of their dreams. Then again, who needs such a materialistic girl in one's life?
Stomach's feeling super weird after weird dinners for the past 3 days, probably the only meal that I ate each day..can't seem to stomach food well at all...tomorrow's the start of floorball training camp, and looking at the itenary, I see trainings starting straight after lunch/dinner..how weird. How am I gonna eat and run immediately after that? I forsee another upcoming 2 days worth of no proper meals. *sigh*
3rd week is gonna pass and Christmas is here just like that. All these while I had minimal conversation with everybody else. I miss spending time with my friends. Sometimes it is very frustrating for me because my mum has started being herself again - making sure I stay at home (whatever for?) and not going out because she thinks going out is a waste of time and money. I'm dead tired of arguing with her over this kind of funny small matters.
Rarrrrrr.
Sunday, December 12, 2004Shared a squeezy living condition with 17 others, but its just as well since I can never sleep much..probably had 4 hours sleep or less everyday, even so I'm just drifting in and out..can very well hear the shuffling of mahjong tiles throughout the night. A full blading session on Tuesday morning, starting from me blading to Macs to deliver back breakfast for the others, playing with the humongous puppy that Richard brought, more blading sessions with the others, and another night blading trip to Bedok Jetty to view the starry starry night.
Sitting at the breakwater is so calming, yet the time spent there causes my inner thoughts to tear at me. Just when I could very well put on a jolly mask to face the world out there, I realised I couldn't do this forever. Trying to pick myself up is a very difficult thing to do, and I almost succeeded. Maybe I shouldn't let my thoughts surface again. But I know I'm truly blessed, with God's grace and forgiveness everytime I do something so wrong; with my friends' care and concern for me, and delighting in their laughter and company; with my physical appearance (as flawed as it may be; with my capabilities.
I simply do not understand how there can be such bastards existing in this world - those guys who will do anything just to get at what is under a girl's skirt. Yet such guys are equipped with a car, money, relatively good looks, and the physique to attract any kind of girls they see as pretty and gullible to fall into their honey-coated trap. It is very sad how many of them exist behind this facade of boyish innocence. It is also very sad about the girls these days, how most girls demand that a guy must have a car in order to date her out. The familiar saying "Girls these days, no car will die". I agree it is very nice to be able to travel around in comfort, to go anywhere in half an hour or less, to rest one's aching legs and let her boyfriend do the work. Pity the guys who do not have the means to get a car - they don't get the babe of their dreams. Then again, who needs such a materialistic girl in one's life?
Stomach's feeling super weird after weird dinners for the past 3 days, probably the only meal that I ate each day..can't seem to stomach food well at all...tomorrow's the start of floorball training camp, and looking at the itenary, I see trainings starting straight after lunch/dinner..how weird. How am I gonna eat and run immediately after that? I forsee another upcoming 2 days worth of no proper meals. *sigh*
3rd week is gonna pass and Christmas is here just like that. All these while I had minimal conversation with everybody else. I miss spending time with my friends. Sometimes it is very frustrating for me because my mum has started being herself again - making sure I stay at home (whatever for?) and not going out because she thinks going out is a waste of time and money. I'm dead tired of arguing with her over this kind of funny small matters.
Rarrrrrr.
Busy busy busy busy busy bumble bee.
Past few days been full of floorball. Had training on Tuesday after a month of not training? Muscle ached like mad..but it was a great training. APAC started on Wednesday..pretty exciting to see the Japanese guys play..everything was very fast paced. Not to mention that Number 1 player (aka goalkeeper) was sooooooo cute. *grin* The Jap girls were so sweet too, but when they played floorball..woah. Drastic change. The Singapore Orchids were gooood. Friday's match saw Singapore mens and ladies vs Japan. Very..very..very exciting. Haiyah. I doubt any form of expression will explain the very feeling I felt while watching the match. I declared the match a heart-attack potential rather than an exciting one anyway.
Anyway. Finals today. Singapore lost to Japan 3-2. Both the Men and Ladies. Good fight though. At least we weren't trashed!
Saturday morning: Played a friendly with RJ girls. They were fast.fast.fast.and superb stamina. I thought we could have played better though. At least, I felt I could have played better. Sigh. League's coming up in a month's time.
Anyway, met up with some of the Neutrons to cycle at Pulau Ubin! Links to photos in the box on the right as usual. *beams*
Couldn't resist the temptation to flood my blog with pictures again :) My blog has been so wordy..I decided to post few pics of the Ubin trip here. The rest of the photos are located in the link on the right.
Not to mention that I met up with the 3 girls who I've known since almost 10-11 years ago.
We ate at Cartel, talked until the cows came home and we still couldn't finish talking. Shuwen just came back from Melbourne..but neither of us have changed much since the last time we saw one another.
The good ol' days. Such nostalgia it brings.
Supposed to meet 3602 tonight at Marche. *sigh* Too bad gotta teach piano, and furthermore I'm too tired to make my way down. I miss 3602! *grrr* Nevermind. There's always a next time.
Upcoming week's plans:
Mon-Wed: Chalet with the Sports Club people @ East Coast.
Wed night: Tentative chiong session? (hmm.)
Friday-Sun: Floorball training camp.
Busy me again.
Sunday, December 05, 2004Past few days been full of floorball. Had training on Tuesday after a month of not training? Muscle ached like mad..but it was a great training. APAC started on Wednesday..pretty exciting to see the Japanese guys play..everything was very fast paced. Not to mention that Number 1 player (aka goalkeeper) was sooooooo cute. *grin* The Jap girls were so sweet too, but when they played floorball..woah. Drastic change. The Singapore Orchids were gooood. Friday's match saw Singapore mens and ladies vs Japan. Very..very..very exciting. Haiyah. I doubt any form of expression will explain the very feeling I felt while watching the match. I declared the match a heart-attack potential rather than an exciting one anyway.
Anyway. Finals today. Singapore lost to Japan 3-2. Both the Men and Ladies. Good fight though. At least we weren't trashed!
Saturday morning: Played a friendly with RJ girls. They were fast.fast.fast.and superb stamina. I thought we could have played better though. At least, I felt I could have played better. Sigh. League's coming up in a month's time.
Anyway, met up with some of the Neutrons to cycle at Pulau Ubin! Links to photos in the box on the right as usual. *beams*
Couldn't resist the temptation to flood my blog with pictures again :) My blog has been so wordy..I decided to post few pics of the Ubin trip here. The rest of the photos are located in the link on the right.
Not to mention that I met up with the 3 girls who I've known since almost 10-11 years ago.
We ate at Cartel, talked until the cows came home and we still couldn't finish talking. Shuwen just came back from Melbourne..but neither of us have changed much since the last time we saw one another.
The good ol' days. Such nostalgia it brings.
Supposed to meet 3602 tonight at Marche. *sigh* Too bad gotta teach piano, and furthermore I'm too tired to make my way down. I miss 3602! *grrr* Nevermind. There's always a next time.
Upcoming week's plans:
Mon-Wed: Chalet with the Sports Club people @ East Coast.
Wed night: Tentative chiong session? (hmm.)
Friday-Sun: Floorball training camp.
Busy me again.
I spent the night leafing through the past...
Discovered the lovely messages left for me by Neutron (yeah you guys rock!) and oh dear..in spite of myself, I started grinning like some mad cow! Haha, the messages reminded me of my crazy antics during Sports Camp..I doubt I'll ever repeat it again, I doubt I'll ever talk so much rubbish in any 6 days in a row, die halfway during a camp and revive again with some silly cheer...yet at the same time I still hope that part of me still remained somewhere within me despite how subdued I have become over the past 5 months.
Eddie reminded me of how Winnie and I had to walk around Siloso Beach with sunblocked-words imprinted on our backs - "We are Hot". How embarassing. I look at the pictures of us instructors in those green t-shirts and remember the stupid things we do in camps..scream until we go hoarse, drink Milo and perk up, stay up till 4am simply because we were trying to solve this irritating question that requires no brains to produce an answer..those kinda qian bian wen da ti, how Fahmy had to go around kissing everybody's cheek during a forfeit (yes even guys')..
Looking at G4's pictures together reminded me of the really stupid times when I was with Christina and we were talking, when she and her usual exaggerated movements caused a girl's plate of rice to fly straight up into the air and fall smack on the floor with the plate neatly turned over (with the rice and stuff underneath of course). Christina I know you're laughing at this. Oh boy. That was one hell of a stomachache at that time after having laughed so hard. But oops! I promised not to tell anyone! Hahahaha.
And my last day with Cristofori Music School will be officially on the 19th December. No more end of January! But come to think of it, I kinda miss my students and the people there..just made friends with this new girl..she's only 17! My students are finally improving, I could see my effort on them hasn't been wasted..never felt so happy before, but too bad I am quitting. :( Life is just so funny - I couldn't wait to quit before that, now I have begun to feel an emotional attachment to Cristofori.
I was telling Christina, that I don't know what's up with anonymous tagging. Doesn't seem to do its job as an attempt to make me feel worse. Any comments anonymously tagged failed to even touch upon any raw nerve. Just tickled more of my funny bone and I go "hahaha" and I'm prompted to start telling everybody to visit my blog to see the ridiculous stance that Mr/Ms Anon has put up.
What a rollercoaster of emotions. Maybe that's why life is indeed interesting.
Wednesday, December 01, 2004Discovered the lovely messages left for me by Neutron (yeah you guys rock!) and oh dear..in spite of myself, I started grinning like some mad cow! Haha, the messages reminded me of my crazy antics during Sports Camp..I doubt I'll ever repeat it again, I doubt I'll ever talk so much rubbish in any 6 days in a row, die halfway during a camp and revive again with some silly cheer...yet at the same time I still hope that part of me still remained somewhere within me despite how subdued I have become over the past 5 months.
Eddie reminded me of how Winnie and I had to walk around Siloso Beach with sunblocked-words imprinted on our backs - "We are Hot". How embarassing. I look at the pictures of us instructors in those green t-shirts and remember the stupid things we do in camps..scream until we go hoarse, drink Milo and perk up, stay up till 4am simply because we were trying to solve this irritating question that requires no brains to produce an answer..those kinda qian bian wen da ti, how Fahmy had to go around kissing everybody's cheek during a forfeit (yes even guys')..
Looking at G4's pictures together reminded me of the really stupid times when I was with Christina and we were talking, when she and her usual exaggerated movements caused a girl's plate of rice to fly straight up into the air and fall smack on the floor with the plate neatly turned over (with the rice and stuff underneath of course). Christina I know you're laughing at this. Oh boy. That was one hell of a stomachache at that time after having laughed so hard. But oops! I promised not to tell anyone! Hahahaha.
And my last day with Cristofori Music School will be officially on the 19th December. No more end of January! But come to think of it, I kinda miss my students and the people there..just made friends with this new girl..she's only 17! My students are finally improving, I could see my effort on them hasn't been wasted..never felt so happy before, but too bad I am quitting. :( Life is just so funny - I couldn't wait to quit before that, now I have begun to feel an emotional attachment to Cristofori.
I was telling Christina, that I don't know what's up with anonymous tagging. Doesn't seem to do its job as an attempt to make me feel worse. Any comments anonymously tagged failed to even touch upon any raw nerve. Just tickled more of my funny bone and I go "hahaha" and I'm prompted to start telling everybody to visit my blog to see the ridiculous stance that Mr/Ms Anon has put up.
What a rollercoaster of emotions. Maybe that's why life is indeed interesting.
I'm itching to change my blogskin. But no inspiration, nothing has caught my eye so far. No skin nor any picture I see matches the feeling I have now.
Tell me, what can illustrate the torrent of hurt and pain, yet relief and longing? Or a plate of rojak - bliss, relief, pain, hurt, longing, desire, lost, aimless, elation, resignation? Its not one of those super depressing moments again, its just this mixture I feel due to a number of reasons. I cannot help that I am a highly sensitive female who cries too easily, gets affected/influenced by others too easily and being a kan jiong spider at hand. Yes, I am a difficult character to handle.
I know countless people who have been pretty irked by my super low self-esteem and self-confidence. Funny thing is, its like looking at myself from another person's point of view. I know what I am lacking, what I need to do but yet my mind and body ain't telling me that way.
Let's look at my Christmas wish list:
1. Clothes that I can fit into.
2. Lose weight and achieve my defined jaw-line again.
3. A fantastic hair-cut and colour.
4. MP3 Player.
5. Better stick-work in floorball.
I am serious about the number 1 in my list. Horror of horrors..I saw this pair of board shorts in BodyNits...I tried XL only to discover that its a damn tight fit that resulted in spilling fats from my thunderous thighs. Thereupon, I lost my enthusiasm to shop. Fine. If you people are wondering, I cannot fit into even the largest sizes in most of Singapore's shops. Sad but true. So do not blame me for being depressed when I go out with other girl-friends and watch them happily pick clothes off the rack while I stand by the side knowing that I will never be able to squeeze in into those teeny weeny sizes. I am thoroughly sick of salesgirls giving me the "Oh dear I'm afraid we don't have your size because you're bigger than the biggest average Singaporean we cater for", but I do have to admit sometimes I don't mind it when I find that I am able to look at their receeding hairlines on the top of their heads, a view most people will not have the opportunity to catch.
Alot of people tell me that I have a height most people will die for. Sorry, but if there is a chance whereby I can exchange heights with say, a 168cm girl with a slim frame..yes just give it to me. Aiyah. I'm just complaining I suppose. But trust me, its not that great up there. The air may be a wee bit fresher, but its not good to look intidimating all the time. I need a fresh look!
Just realised I'm so without plans since my last paper on Friday. Let's see. What did I do?
Saturday
Stayed at home and waited for my mum to call me so that I could go out with her...hopefully I'll get to buy a few expensive Triumph bras with her money...but good ol' mummy have to bring me to the supermarket instead. Home at night, watch TV, surf net. Wow. How exciting.
Sunday
Teaching piano the whole day. Literally.
Monday
Nua all the way until I went out for dinner.
Tuesday
Nua somemore. Stayed at home and dealt with all the ticketing stuff for APAC (but failed) while trying to design different stamp logos for Sports Club. Spent the day answering emails. It was a sad night. Very very sad night.
Wednesday (that's today!)
Woke up for breakfast..but came back to sleep. Woke up for lunch. Came back and now I'm blogging. I'm gonna sleep again before starting work for APAC. That means making a few billion phonecalls tonight. Boy I am pissed.
Forseen Thursday and Friday plans
Hopefully spend the day nua-ing with Christina and Sueann in the Sports Club room while I do my work as well. Watch movie on my laptop. MC meeting on Friday morning. Town with MC members, Jeanette's party at night. Saturday morning sees a friendly match between NTU and NUS floorball girls.
What an exciting post-exam week! *sarcasm literally dripping off the words*
Tell me, what can illustrate the torrent of hurt and pain, yet relief and longing? Or a plate of rojak - bliss, relief, pain, hurt, longing, desire, lost, aimless, elation, resignation? Its not one of those super depressing moments again, its just this mixture I feel due to a number of reasons. I cannot help that I am a highly sensitive female who cries too easily, gets affected/influenced by others too easily and being a kan jiong spider at hand. Yes, I am a difficult character to handle.
I know countless people who have been pretty irked by my super low self-esteem and self-confidence. Funny thing is, its like looking at myself from another person's point of view. I know what I am lacking, what I need to do but yet my mind and body ain't telling me that way.
Let's look at my Christmas wish list:
1. Clothes that I can fit into.
2. Lose weight and achieve my defined jaw-line again.
3. A fantastic hair-cut and colour.
4. MP3 Player.
5. Better stick-work in floorball.
I am serious about the number 1 in my list. Horror of horrors..I saw this pair of board shorts in BodyNits...I tried XL only to discover that its a damn tight fit that resulted in spilling fats from my thunderous thighs. Thereupon, I lost my enthusiasm to shop. Fine. If you people are wondering, I cannot fit into even the largest sizes in most of Singapore's shops. Sad but true. So do not blame me for being depressed when I go out with other girl-friends and watch them happily pick clothes off the rack while I stand by the side knowing that I will never be able to squeeze in into those teeny weeny sizes. I am thoroughly sick of salesgirls giving me the "Oh dear I'm afraid we don't have your size because you're bigger than the biggest average Singaporean we cater for", but I do have to admit sometimes I don't mind it when I find that I am able to look at their receeding hairlines on the top of their heads, a view most people will not have the opportunity to catch.
Alot of people tell me that I have a height most people will die for. Sorry, but if there is a chance whereby I can exchange heights with say, a 168cm girl with a slim frame..yes just give it to me. Aiyah. I'm just complaining I suppose. But trust me, its not that great up there. The air may be a wee bit fresher, but its not good to look intidimating all the time. I need a fresh look!
Just realised I'm so without plans since my last paper on Friday. Let's see. What did I do?
Saturday
Stayed at home and waited for my mum to call me so that I could go out with her...hopefully I'll get to buy a few expensive Triumph bras with her money...but good ol' mummy have to bring me to the supermarket instead. Home at night, watch TV, surf net. Wow. How exciting.
Sunday
Teaching piano the whole day. Literally.
Monday
Nua all the way until I went out for dinner.
Tuesday
Nua somemore. Stayed at home and dealt with all the ticketing stuff for APAC (but failed) while trying to design different stamp logos for Sports Club. Spent the day answering emails. It was a sad night. Very very sad night.
Wednesday (that's today!)
Woke up for breakfast..but came back to sleep. Woke up for lunch. Came back and now I'm blogging. I'm gonna sleep again before starting work for APAC. That means making a few billion phonecalls tonight. Boy I am pissed.
Forseen Thursday and Friday plans
Hopefully spend the day nua-ing with Christina and Sueann in the Sports Club room while I do my work as well. Watch movie on my laptop. MC meeting on Friday morning. Town with MC members, Jeanette's party at night. Saturday morning sees a friendly match between NTU and NUS floorball girls.
What an exciting post-exam week! *sarcasm literally dripping off the words*