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Thursday, January 24, 2008

It dawned upon me that the company I hang out with these days are either attached, or married.



Allowing my wild thoughts to surface, I also came to a conclusion that in general, I might very well end up being a fellow bitching partner to the females, and a much appreciated refreshing change to the men. The occasional dose of this refreshing change allows everybody to return to their partners with a fresh perspective and to begin loving them all over again. You've almost got those vibes right: I am not one for keeps indeed, perhaps one just for fun and company with no strings attached...please play, enjoy your stay, and return home finally from your holiday.



The intrigue only lasts for that short while. It disappears when I reveal the weaker side, the typical feminine side that lashes out when the masculine side decides to be sick of shouldering everybody's problems. Them who are struck still by my so-called "intriguing self" find that they cannot handle the Pandora's box of evils once they have opened it, and they back off..very far away. They fit themselves back into the works of life and pretend nothing has ever happened, while the evils dislodged swirl around their next potential victim, disappearing back to the box when needed but all ready to emerge...anytime.

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Man, I hate the way my thoughts flow these days/nights/doesn't matter. My sentences only reflect my thoughts too well - they are disjointed, they do not flow properly, the vocabulary's really limited, the grammar will probably follow suit as well. The paragraphs do not start on a strong note, they end off halfway as random as they can be...heck, nothing makes sense.

Is this what's gonna happen the longer I stay in where I am? The feeling of stagnation (or is it some other word?), the slow disappearance of words from my mind...all these are only hard facts of life. It's time to read, it's time to question, it's time to observe, it's time to sit down to coffee and people watch - and write. It's time to move up but...there's no time I can find.

People always say, "Time is what you make out of it." Throw me a blender and I might make a cup of orange juice packed with pulp and all, but I can't do that with time. I have squeezed what I could - work, news, exercise, a social life, enough sleep, my passion, side jobs into my schedule and there is no way of squeezing more. What do I do now?

I feel myself not being able to contribute to intelligent conversations when I used to dig such great coffee-chats in the past. I feel myself sliding lower the IQ table as I struggle to find topics to talk about. It is too easy to get stuck in the race towards our downfall as we get blinded by our potential seats on the pot of gold, fame and success. It is too easy to scorn others for not being able to follow when we are blind to our own lack of intelligence - experts only in our own field of knowledge and complete fools to the rest. It is too easy to hide behind templates of standard procedures and avoid exposing our lazy minds to critical issues.




x`p
5:53 PM

- 1 shouts


| The Girl |
Twenty-two
Aquarian
Just bummin' around
With too much on her mind,
and too limited words to say.



| Living life, Loving it |
music, singing, gerberas, iridiscence, glass bottles, shot glasses, outdoors, sports, writing, milo-peng, earrings, gem stones, bikinis, food, denim skirts, indulgence.


| Reads |
Adrian
Alwyn
Astri
Boo Honk
Cai Xia
Chinying
Derrick
Hildra
Hong Yi
Huiyu
Jasmin
Joyce
Mel
Ming Zhen
Niccole
Nick
Nicole
Terrence
The Great Jer
Valerie
Weili




| Frozen in time |

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