"Its not supposed to feel this way, I need you, I need you, more and more each day...
Its not supposed to hurt this way, I need you, I need you, I need you..tell me."
I'm still hooked onto Avril Lavigne's "Why". Its a beautiful song with beautiful lyrics. Although those lyrics do not really apply to any aspect in my life now. Maybe a little.
School's starting and I'm not feeling good about it. A certain few friends will know about a leech I've encountered recently, and another certain few friends will know how I feel about moving into hall. I am definitely not ready to move into hall. Part of me tells me I'm not ready to make new friends and start anew all over again in a new environment alone. Its tough..its freakin' tough to put on a smile to the whole world. It hurts inside while others think I'm all "sunshine". The truth is, I'm scared.
Scared of not being able to fit in - in the shortest time possible.
Scared of losing my friends now that we've gone our sepearate ways - me in EH, they in TH & KR.
Scared of not being close to a certain few I'd like to be with anymore...scared of watching them slowly vanish away from my life.
"All around me are familiar faces, worn out places...worn out phases..."
"Going nowhere...going nowhere..."
"Hide my head I wanna drown my sorrows, no tomorrow, no tomorrow..."
"and I find it kinda funny, I find it kinda sad. The dreams of which I'm dying are the best I've ever had."
"and people run in circles its a weary fury thing. mad world..."
Bazaar's in 2 weeks and many things are not settled yet. I haven't got enough stalls, I haven't got the band equipment and I haven't got many contracts signed yet. I haven't moved into hall. I haven't got all my modules.
I can't perform in floorball when HC is there. Like I'm really stressed and pressurised to show what I'm really capable of in normal games when I'm having 100% fun playing with the seniors and stuff. I want to, but I can't....
Terrified with time flying past.
Fascinated with him. He sparks my curiousity.
Contemplating.
But...when will I really open up?
I need a hug. From who, I don't know exactly. But it has to be the right one.
"Words of love to calm every storm that rises deep inside..arms to hold and comfort me, a place where I can hide away my tears..."
So many songs. Turbulent feelings.
Groove Coverage CD spinning away in my D: all over...and all over again. And another click, the slower songs come in.
What exactly is it that causes me to lose control of my feelings?
I'm tumbling down the hill all over again.
It doesn't help when I'm leeched onto. It sucks. It drives me nuts...beyond that. It is added stress and I can't burn it off. Unless maybe if I set myself on fire. It will be very appropriate now to use the 2 words - "fuck off."
Just did a floorball demo at TKGS today. Going back to TKGS after 4 years seems weird. Like stepping back into time. When I was sec 4. Bought new speakers today. Finally.
"Let the music heal your soul."
Its time to take a step back, and indulge in music again.
Step aside dude, you do not choose my music for me.
Its not supposed to hurt this way, I need you, I need you, I need you..tell me."
I'm still hooked onto Avril Lavigne's "Why". Its a beautiful song with beautiful lyrics. Although those lyrics do not really apply to any aspect in my life now. Maybe a little.
School's starting and I'm not feeling good about it. A certain few friends will know about a leech I've encountered recently, and another certain few friends will know how I feel about moving into hall. I am definitely not ready to move into hall. Part of me tells me I'm not ready to make new friends and start anew all over again in a new environment alone. Its tough..its freakin' tough to put on a smile to the whole world. It hurts inside while others think I'm all "sunshine". The truth is, I'm scared.
Scared of not being able to fit in - in the shortest time possible.
Scared of losing my friends now that we've gone our sepearate ways - me in EH, they in TH & KR.
Scared of not being close to a certain few I'd like to be with anymore...scared of watching them slowly vanish away from my life.
"All around me are familiar faces, worn out places...worn out phases..."
"Going nowhere...going nowhere..."
"Hide my head I wanna drown my sorrows, no tomorrow, no tomorrow..."
"and I find it kinda funny, I find it kinda sad. The dreams of which I'm dying are the best I've ever had."
"and people run in circles its a weary fury thing. mad world..."
Bazaar's in 2 weeks and many things are not settled yet. I haven't got enough stalls, I haven't got the band equipment and I haven't got many contracts signed yet. I haven't moved into hall. I haven't got all my modules.
I can't perform in floorball when HC is there. Like I'm really stressed and pressurised to show what I'm really capable of in normal games when I'm having 100% fun playing with the seniors and stuff. I want to, but I can't....
Terrified with time flying past.
Fascinated with him. He sparks my curiousity.
Contemplating.
But...when will I really open up?
I need a hug. From who, I don't know exactly. But it has to be the right one.
"Words of love to calm every storm that rises deep inside..arms to hold and comfort me, a place where I can hide away my tears..."
So many songs. Turbulent feelings.
Groove Coverage CD spinning away in my D: all over...and all over again. And another click, the slower songs come in.
What exactly is it that causes me to lose control of my feelings?
I'm tumbling down the hill all over again.
It doesn't help when I'm leeched onto. It sucks. It drives me nuts...beyond that. It is added stress and I can't burn it off. Unless maybe if I set myself on fire. It will be very appropriate now to use the 2 words - "fuck off."
Just did a floorball demo at TKGS today. Going back to TKGS after 4 years seems weird. Like stepping back into time. When I was sec 4. Bought new speakers today. Finally.
"Let the music heal your soul."
Its time to take a step back, and indulge in music again.
Step aside dude, you do not choose my music for me.