I'm itching to change my blogskin. But no inspiration, nothing has caught my eye so far. No skin nor any picture I see matches the feeling I have now.
Tell me, what can illustrate the torrent of hurt and pain, yet relief and longing? Or a plate of rojak - bliss, relief, pain, hurt, longing, desire, lost, aimless, elation, resignation? Its not one of those super depressing moments again, its just this mixture I feel due to a number of reasons. I cannot help that I am a highly sensitive female who cries too easily, gets affected/influenced by others too easily and being a kan jiong spider at hand. Yes, I am a difficult character to handle.
I know countless people who have been pretty irked by my super low self-esteem and self-confidence. Funny thing is, its like looking at myself from another person's point of view. I know what I am lacking, what I need to do but yet my mind and body ain't telling me that way.
Let's look at my Christmas wish list:
1. Clothes that I can fit into.
2. Lose weight and achieve my defined jaw-line again.
3. A fantastic hair-cut and colour.
4. MP3 Player.
5. Better stick-work in floorball.
I am serious about the number 1 in my list. Horror of horrors..I saw this pair of board shorts in BodyNits...I tried XL only to discover that its a damn tight fit that resulted in spilling fats from my thunderous thighs. Thereupon, I lost my enthusiasm to shop. Fine. If you people are wondering, I cannot fit into even the largest sizes in most of Singapore's shops. Sad but true. So do not blame me for being depressed when I go out with other girl-friends and watch them happily pick clothes off the rack while I stand by the side knowing that I will never be able to squeeze in into those teeny weeny sizes. I am thoroughly sick of salesgirls giving me the "Oh dear I'm afraid we don't have your size because you're bigger than the biggest average Singaporean we cater for", but I do have to admit sometimes I don't mind it when I find that I am able to look at their receeding hairlines on the top of their heads, a view most people will not have the opportunity to catch.
Alot of people tell me that I have a height most people will die for. Sorry, but if there is a chance whereby I can exchange heights with say, a 168cm girl with a slim frame..yes just give it to me. Aiyah. I'm just complaining I suppose. But trust me, its not that great up there. The air may be a wee bit fresher, but its not good to look intidimating all the time. I need a fresh look!
Just realised I'm so without plans since my last paper on Friday. Let's see. What did I do?
Saturday
Stayed at home and waited for my mum to call me so that I could go out with her...hopefully I'll get to buy a few expensive Triumph bras with her money...but good ol' mummy have to bring me to the supermarket instead. Home at night, watch TV, surf net. Wow. How exciting.
Sunday
Teaching piano the whole day. Literally.
Monday
Nua all the way until I went out for dinner.
Tuesday
Nua somemore. Stayed at home and dealt with all the ticketing stuff for APAC (but failed) while trying to design different stamp logos for Sports Club. Spent the day answering emails. It was a sad night. Very very sad night.
Wednesday (that's today!)
Woke up for breakfast..but came back to sleep. Woke up for lunch. Came back and now I'm blogging. I'm gonna sleep again before starting work for APAC. That means making a few billion phonecalls tonight. Boy I am pissed.
Forseen Thursday and Friday plans
Hopefully spend the day nua-ing with Christina and Sueann in the Sports Club room while I do my work as well. Watch movie on my laptop. MC meeting on Friday morning. Town with MC members, Jeanette's party at night. Saturday morning sees a friendly match between NTU and NUS floorball girls.
What an exciting post-exam week! *sarcasm literally dripping off the words*
Tell me, what can illustrate the torrent of hurt and pain, yet relief and longing? Or a plate of rojak - bliss, relief, pain, hurt, longing, desire, lost, aimless, elation, resignation? Its not one of those super depressing moments again, its just this mixture I feel due to a number of reasons. I cannot help that I am a highly sensitive female who cries too easily, gets affected/influenced by others too easily and being a kan jiong spider at hand. Yes, I am a difficult character to handle.
I know countless people who have been pretty irked by my super low self-esteem and self-confidence. Funny thing is, its like looking at myself from another person's point of view. I know what I am lacking, what I need to do but yet my mind and body ain't telling me that way.
Let's look at my Christmas wish list:
1. Clothes that I can fit into.
2. Lose weight and achieve my defined jaw-line again.
3. A fantastic hair-cut and colour.
4. MP3 Player.
5. Better stick-work in floorball.
I am serious about the number 1 in my list. Horror of horrors..I saw this pair of board shorts in BodyNits...I tried XL only to discover that its a damn tight fit that resulted in spilling fats from my thunderous thighs. Thereupon, I lost my enthusiasm to shop. Fine. If you people are wondering, I cannot fit into even the largest sizes in most of Singapore's shops. Sad but true. So do not blame me for being depressed when I go out with other girl-friends and watch them happily pick clothes off the rack while I stand by the side knowing that I will never be able to squeeze in into those teeny weeny sizes. I am thoroughly sick of salesgirls giving me the "Oh dear I'm afraid we don't have your size because you're bigger than the biggest average Singaporean we cater for", but I do have to admit sometimes I don't mind it when I find that I am able to look at their receeding hairlines on the top of their heads, a view most people will not have the opportunity to catch.
Alot of people tell me that I have a height most people will die for. Sorry, but if there is a chance whereby I can exchange heights with say, a 168cm girl with a slim frame..yes just give it to me. Aiyah. I'm just complaining I suppose. But trust me, its not that great up there. The air may be a wee bit fresher, but its not good to look intidimating all the time. I need a fresh look!
Just realised I'm so without plans since my last paper on Friday. Let's see. What did I do?
Saturday
Stayed at home and waited for my mum to call me so that I could go out with her...hopefully I'll get to buy a few expensive Triumph bras with her money...but good ol' mummy have to bring me to the supermarket instead. Home at night, watch TV, surf net. Wow. How exciting.
Sunday
Teaching piano the whole day. Literally.
Monday
Nua all the way until I went out for dinner.
Tuesday
Nua somemore. Stayed at home and dealt with all the ticketing stuff for APAC (but failed) while trying to design different stamp logos for Sports Club. Spent the day answering emails. It was a sad night. Very very sad night.
Wednesday (that's today!)
Woke up for breakfast..but came back to sleep. Woke up for lunch. Came back and now I'm blogging. I'm gonna sleep again before starting work for APAC. That means making a few billion phonecalls tonight. Boy I am pissed.
Forseen Thursday and Friday plans
Hopefully spend the day nua-ing with Christina and Sueann in the Sports Club room while I do my work as well. Watch movie on my laptop. MC meeting on Friday morning. Town with MC members, Jeanette's party at night. Saturday morning sees a friendly match between NTU and NUS floorball girls.
What an exciting post-exam week! *sarcasm literally dripping off the words*