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Wednesday, April 28, 2004

I feel so lost. No idea which direction I'm heading towards, no particular goals in life, just spinning and spinning...and spinning. Will I spin on forever? Till now, I do not know what I want to do in the future, I am not sure if I am capable of success in the first place. Mass Communications is out for me. I start questioning myself, if I do make it in there, will I be successful at work, or will I be left along the sidelines, unemployed? These questions have been haunting me since last year. I thought I had settled on being a teacher, but something within me, just something, kept nudging me to look further, rather than keeping to a realistic approach. Then again, in Singapore, who needs a dreamer when all one needs is a constant flow of hard cash to keep abreach Singapore's relatively high living standards? Maybe I should go back to music, and throw myself into it. Maybe things will work better that way.

As for the question I have been avoiding for weeks : What can you do after getting a degree from Arts & Social Science? What can I do? A general degree holder without working experience. I qualify for the "remain jobless" category.

After weeks and weeks of working, I probably went through an identity crisis as well. So, what else have I gained through these besides hard cash (again), photocopying/faxing/filing/customer service experience? Nothing else probably. Social life reduced by a tenfold, brain size reduced by another tenfold, leaving myself totally clueless to what my next step in life is going to be. University, then what? Get a job. But it is so important to get a job that I like, but how am I to know what I'll like in future?

And I wish XH will just hurry up book out so that I can focus on talking on the phone and not let these matters get to me every night.

I wish for endless hard cash too. I think rich people survive better in this world, the rich become richer and the poor will become poorer. Very true.


x`p
10:38 PM

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| The Girl |
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