I woke up in the morning, feeling so pissed. Things last night were so bad, the things he said, just kept running through my head, running through my head. Literally. Somehow every single moment in the past just flashed past me, as if I was reviewing a video clip on my life since I could remember. Nothing much of the past, maybe more on since September. It hurts so very much.
Things were pretty awkward today, although we did talk about funny stuff, but somehow the laughter didn't last as long as the usual. Rather forced I must say. Or rather, I was still feeling pretty hurt from what happened, even though its just a small thing. Somehow, I just had to remember the past and pick up on whatever mistakes made even though there seem not to be any link with the present. Maybe I just have to make myself feel better, tell myself its not my fault all the time.
I hate the way I'm brought up, meek and pathetic. Life's like a stage for me. All makeup, false smiles and forced laughter when all I wanted to do is to let loose my cries from deep inside. "Another ditch in the road, keep moving. Another stop sign, keep moving..on..." Am I really what I am in person?
Another passing phase of depression. I hope things get brighter soon. I need to start studying, can't concentrate at all. Next aim : A in geography.
Current Mood :
helpless.
Things were pretty awkward today, although we did talk about funny stuff, but somehow the laughter didn't last as long as the usual. Rather forced I must say. Or rather, I was still feeling pretty hurt from what happened, even though its just a small thing. Somehow, I just had to remember the past and pick up on whatever mistakes made even though there seem not to be any link with the present. Maybe I just have to make myself feel better, tell myself its not my fault all the time.
I hate the way I'm brought up, meek and pathetic. Life's like a stage for me. All makeup, false smiles and forced laughter when all I wanted to do is to let loose my cries from deep inside. "Another ditch in the road, keep moving. Another stop sign, keep moving..on..." Am I really what I am in person?
Another passing phase of depression. I hope things get brighter soon. I need to start studying, can't concentrate at all. Next aim : A in geography.
Current Mood :
helpless.