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Sunday, May 18, 2003

Three years in the courtship and now, two years into marriage, I would have to admit, I am getting tired of it, the reasons of me loving him before has now transformed into the cause of all the restlessness. I am a sentimental woman and extremely sensitive and exquisite when it comes to relationship and feelings, I yearn for romantic moments, as though a little boy would yearn for candy. And my husband, is just a contrast of me, his lack of sensitivity, and of all, inability of bringing romantic moments into our marriage has disheartened me about love.

One day, I finally decided to tell him my decision, that I want a divorce.

"Why?" he asked, shocked. "I am tired, there aren't reasons for everything in the world" I answered.



He kept silent the whole night, seemed to be in deep thoughts the whole night with cigarette lighted all the time.

My feeling of disappointment is getting intense, a man who can't even express his detainment, what else can I hope from him? And finally he asked:" What can I do to change your mind?" Somebody said it right, it's hard to change a person's personality, and I guess, I have started losing faith in him. Looked deep into his eyes and I slowly answered: "Here is a question, if you can find the answer in my heart, I will change my mind, Let say, I love a flower at a mountain cliff, and we both sure that the making you to pick the flower will cause death, will you do it for me?"

He said:" I will give you your answer tomorrow...." My heart just sank just by listening to his respond.

The next morning, he was not around, and I saw a piece of paper with his scratched writing, underneath a glass of warm milk, It goes....

Dear,

"I would not pick that flower for you, but please allow me to further explain the reasons" This first lines has already broke my heart. I continue reading. "You can only type with computer and always messes up the programs in the PC, I have to save my fingers so that I can help to restore the programs. You always leave the house key behind, I have to save my legs to rush home to open the door for you.

You love traveling but always lose your way in a new city, I have to save my eyes to lead you the way. You always have cramps when your "good friend" approaches every month, I have to save my palm so that I can calm the cramp at your tummy.

You like to stay indoor, and I worry that you will come down with infantile autism. I have to save my mouth to tell you jokes and stories to curb your boredom.



You always stare into the computer screen, and that'll do no good to your eyes, I have to save my eyes so that when we grow older, I can help to clip your nails, and help to remove those annoying white hairs. I will hold your hand, stroll down the beach, enjoying the sunshine and the beautiful sands... tell you the colour of flowers, just like the glow on your young face...

Thus, my dear, before I am sure there are someone who loves you more than I do... I would not pick the flower, and die.. "

My tears drops and blurred the ink of his hand writing... and I resume my reading...


"And now, dear... you have finished reading my answer, if you are satisfied with these answers, please open the door of our house, I am standing there,with your favorite bread and fresh milk... I rush to pull open the door, and saw his anxious face, with his hand holding tight onto the milk and bread....

Oh I am sure no one ever love me as much, and now I have decided to leave the flower alone...

That's life, or some said, love, when one is surrounded by love, the feeling of excitement fade away, and one tend to ignore the true love lies in between the peace and dullness.

Love shows in any form, even a very little and corny form, it has never been a model, it could be the most incurious form.. . flowers, romantic moments is only the buckish formed on the surface of the relationship.

Under all this, the pillar of truelove stands... and that's our life...
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Simply touching. *goes..awwwwwwwwww* I mean, really touching :)

x`p
3:39 PM

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| The Girl |
Twenty-two
Aquarian
Just bummin' around
With too much on her mind,
and too limited words to say.



| Living life, Loving it |
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