The world is full of contradictions....
To ere is to be human, they say. We all are but humans, and I have a handful of contradictory statement-action cases handed out to me this year. Lots of things have happened this year, particularly in the past few months since my last paper in NUS. It makes school life boring and mundane, and more sheltered than I have ever imagined. Lucky tertiary students we all are.
When someone claims to have reached a standstill in his life, only to date around 2 weeks later. Don't get me wrong, the issue I'm addressing here is "consistency" versus "contradiction".
When someone claims to have put aside time for me, only to have me realise that I have to bend my schedule around his. When I tell people I will make time to have coffee with them, only to realise obligations have kept me away from these coffee dates for close to a year.
As much as I try my best to suppress my bitchiness with concerns to a few particular statements someone had stressed upon me, as the great Jer puts it, my blog houses my own feelings...so, bitch away.
And then, I'm stumped for words.
Because, I realised by now, its over. I certainly do not care whether he dates another girl so close to home, whether she's got a superb figure and stuff...because I come away guilt-free (why should I be, in the first place) and he's moved on. It makes the decision clearer because it shows me how blind I was to obligatory feelings in the past; it shows me that I'm no cynic to love as I have forced myself to believe; it shows me that I can't force love itself.
And, it also allows the heart to embrace again. When I thought it wasn't capable of "feeling" anymore. "hmm", indeed.
To ere is to be human, they say. We all are but humans, and I have a handful of contradictory statement-action cases handed out to me this year. Lots of things have happened this year, particularly in the past few months since my last paper in NUS. It makes school life boring and mundane, and more sheltered than I have ever imagined. Lucky tertiary students we all are.
When someone claims to have reached a standstill in his life, only to date around 2 weeks later. Don't get me wrong, the issue I'm addressing here is "consistency" versus "contradiction".
When someone claims to have put aside time for me, only to have me realise that I have to bend my schedule around his. When I tell people I will make time to have coffee with them, only to realise obligations have kept me away from these coffee dates for close to a year.
As much as I try my best to suppress my bitchiness with concerns to a few particular statements someone had stressed upon me, as the great Jer puts it, my blog houses my own feelings...so, bitch away.
And then, I'm stumped for words.
Because, I realised by now, its over. I certainly do not care whether he dates another girl so close to home, whether she's got a superb figure and stuff...because I come away guilt-free (why should I be, in the first place) and he's moved on. It makes the decision clearer because it shows me how blind I was to obligatory feelings in the past; it shows me that I'm no cynic to love as I have forced myself to believe; it shows me that I can't force love itself.
And, it also allows the heart to embrace again. When I thought it wasn't capable of "feeling" anymore. "hmm", indeed.