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Wednesday, March 22, 2006

I lay down upon my bed alone this Wednesday evening. 5 hours worth of idling, yet I do not feel relaxed, nor do I feel any better than the past few weeks. 3 hours napping, 1.5 hours reading. I picked up a novel, Anne Rice's "Blood and Gold". With much reluctance, I close the book, and decide to start on the pile of schoolwork which has not decreased since halfway through the semester.

Its been a while since I last idled the afternoon away. Sleeping has become more of a need rather than luxury for me, for I do not feel rested despite sprawling half conscious on my bed. The past week of running, pushing myself hard - left me with a constant ache, exhausted muscles, and a flatter stomach. But to push myself this hard every week - is it possible?


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Memories from back then crept up upon me. Lunch I was obligated to buy back every day, your appetite was large. Your appetite for food and sleep were overwhelming. Where did I stand? Life was all about food and sleep. We lived different timings - when I wake, you sleep. When I sleep, you wake.
I finally lost the weight I put on when life was all about food and sleep. Along with that weight loss, I gained a new happiness - someone whose company I delighted in, someone my equal, someone whom I share a very comfortable (and somewhat compatible) lifestyle with.
You spoke to me as though I lived my life sleeping around. What incredible tales you imagine in your head, what an opinion you have had of me.
Its alright. I'm happy with him, while you continue your search.
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Please pardon the nonsensical post. In reality I'm tired of school, I'm tired of the work that keeps increasing but I could never decrease it no matter how steadily I work at it. I'm tired of projects, I'm tired of trying my best knowing others do not.
Most of all, I'm tired of burning out so quickly for my sport.
But I guess, this is the best time to push myself, because of the long break (due to exams) that will approach once the season ends.
I have nothing to lose, do I?
And I can't wait for this week to be over. For obvious reasons, you ought to know.

x`p
5:46 PM

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| The Girl |
Twenty-two
Aquarian
Just bummin' around
With too much on her mind,
and too limited words to say.



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