Its 3.29am, impossible to sleep in the club room. I sit on my chair, logged on to MSN, watching everybody walk in and out, the ongoign mahjong session, and I'm curled up here shivering from the cold.
Fatigue is catching up with me after 4 hours of sleep the night before, before chionging straight for 2 back-to-back Psychology lectures which were definitely mind-draining. And back home to teach.
Moved my piano into my new room, and I'm definitely enjoying the surrround sound the cosy room provides. Whoever could sing and sing...till her voice becomes hoarse? Knowing music has got to be the greatest gift I suppose, for today lah.
Yet I hate to be up at this time of the night because I think so much. Think about how my life has been...how screwed up it has been because I have allowed myself to be bullied by others way too easily. Seems lately that I've been allowing myself to be walked all over, to be trampled on again and again, until I guess I've gotten so immune to the hurt, but maybe not. A fresh feeling of hurt takes over each time that happens, and I wonder when I will ever heal again. Putting on a cheery smile is a wonderful thing to do everyday because it takes my mind off unhappy things. Like going gaga over cute guys with mesmerizing eyes, over the niceness of friends and their total sweetness towards me...I seriously never felt so loved for a long time. Yet there is always this part of me who will remain melancholic and upset with thew whole world (for what I do not know man)
Training starts at 11.30am tomorrow and I'm obviously not letting myself get enough sleep. Perhaps I'm just trying to wear myself out so badly that I'll just collapse on the sofa and sleep till its finally time to wake up. Hah. I'm kinda looking forward to all the different Sports Club Projects coz they are definitely gonna occupy my time and prevent me from thinking too much.
"When you are close to tears remember, someday its gonna be all over..."
Fatigue is catching up with me after 4 hours of sleep the night before, before chionging straight for 2 back-to-back Psychology lectures which were definitely mind-draining. And back home to teach.
Moved my piano into my new room, and I'm definitely enjoying the surrround sound the cosy room provides. Whoever could sing and sing...till her voice becomes hoarse? Knowing music has got to be the greatest gift I suppose, for today lah.
Yet I hate to be up at this time of the night because I think so much. Think about how my life has been...how screwed up it has been because I have allowed myself to be bullied by others way too easily. Seems lately that I've been allowing myself to be walked all over, to be trampled on again and again, until I guess I've gotten so immune to the hurt, but maybe not. A fresh feeling of hurt takes over each time that happens, and I wonder when I will ever heal again. Putting on a cheery smile is a wonderful thing to do everyday because it takes my mind off unhappy things. Like going gaga over cute guys with mesmerizing eyes, over the niceness of friends and their total sweetness towards me...I seriously never felt so loved for a long time. Yet there is always this part of me who will remain melancholic and upset with thew whole world (for what I do not know man)
Training starts at 11.30am tomorrow and I'm obviously not letting myself get enough sleep. Perhaps I'm just trying to wear myself out so badly that I'll just collapse on the sofa and sleep till its finally time to wake up. Hah. I'm kinda looking forward to all the different Sports Club Projects coz they are definitely gonna occupy my time and prevent me from thinking too much.
"When you are close to tears remember, someday its gonna be all over..."