I feel so lost. No idea which direction I'm heading towards, no particular goals in life, just spinning and spinning...and spinning. Will I spin on forever? Till now, I do not know what I want to do in the future, I am not sure if I am capable of success in the first place. Mass Communications is out for me. I start questioning myself, if I do make it in there, will I be successful at work, or will I be left along the sidelines, unemployed? These questions have been haunting me since last year. I thought I had settled on being a teacher, but something within me, just something, kept nudging me to look further, rather than keeping to a realistic approach. Then again, in Singapore, who needs a dreamer when all one needs is a constant flow of hard cash to keep abreach Singapore's relatively high living standards? Maybe I should go back to music, and throw myself into it. Maybe things will work better that way.
As for the question I have been avoiding for weeks : What can you do after getting a degree from Arts & Social Science? What can I do? A general degree holder without working experience. I qualify for the "remain jobless" category.
After weeks and weeks of working, I probably went through an identity crisis as well. So, what else have I gained through these besides hard cash (again), photocopying/faxing/filing/customer service experience? Nothing else probably. Social life reduced by a tenfold, brain size reduced by another tenfold, leaving myself totally clueless to what my next step in life is going to be. University, then what? Get a job. But it is so important to get a job that I like, but how am I to know what I'll like in future?
And I wish XH will just hurry up book out so that I can focus on talking on the phone and not let these matters get to me every night.
I wish for endless hard cash too. I think rich people survive better in this world, the rich become richer and the poor will become poorer. Very true.
As for the question I have been avoiding for weeks : What can you do after getting a degree from Arts & Social Science? What can I do? A general degree holder without working experience. I qualify for the "remain jobless" category.
After weeks and weeks of working, I probably went through an identity crisis as well. So, what else have I gained through these besides hard cash (again), photocopying/faxing/filing/customer service experience? Nothing else probably. Social life reduced by a tenfold, brain size reduced by another tenfold, leaving myself totally clueless to what my next step in life is going to be. University, then what? Get a job. But it is so important to get a job that I like, but how am I to know what I'll like in future?
And I wish XH will just hurry up book out so that I can focus on talking on the phone and not let these matters get to me every night.
I wish for endless hard cash too. I think rich people survive better in this world, the rich become richer and the poor will become poorer. Very true.
Click here to find out what product you actually are.
Results:
Xiao Pei is like a normal armchair, but it tastes delicious.
Xiaopei is a postage stamp that tracks infra-red and automatically updates your weblog when used.
I'll give anything to enjoy a cup of iced chocalate milkshake, legs curled up while I laze around on a nice comfy couch.
I better snap out of this. Got a feeling I'll work OT tonight.
*sigh*
Tuesday, April 27, 2004Results:
Xiao Pei is like a normal armchair, but it tastes delicious.
Xiaopei is a postage stamp that tracks infra-red and automatically updates your weblog when used.
I'll give anything to enjoy a cup of iced chocalate milkshake, legs curled up while I laze around on a nice comfy couch.
I better snap out of this. Got a feeling I'll work OT tonight.
*sigh*
Thursday is coming. *grin*
It is very odd that I don't have much to say since last Friday. Is it due to work that my brain has become mere cotton, that I've become part of the mechanised system aiding the bank in their daily duties such that I am somehow transformed into a robot without any opinions of its own?
26 more working days before I leave.
And I know I'm not cut out for the working world.
Not yet. :)
Monday, April 26, 2004It is very odd that I don't have much to say since last Friday. Is it due to work that my brain has become mere cotton, that I've become part of the mechanised system aiding the bank in their daily duties such that I am somehow transformed into a robot without any opinions of its own?
26 more working days before I leave.
And I know I'm not cut out for the working world.
Not yet. :)
I wish my mum wouldn't scold me when I fall down. It just develops into a fear to tell her should I suffer any injury, like now. Now that my wound is infected and everything, I don't have a choice but to tell her, only to have her scold me when all I wanted was comfort from her.
Sometimes I wish my mum knows how to react to such situations. I am still her little girl after all.
Thursday, April 22, 2004Sometimes I wish my mum knows how to react to such situations. I am still her little girl after all.
Looking at the list of things I want...I have come to realise I'm spending by the hundreds.
Check out the right side, every item under Materialism costs $100 or more. Oh my..oh my. And $10 used to be a hell lot of money when I was in Primary School! Goodness knows when I'll start eyeing on those diamond rings in jewellery shops. Oh dear.
I better start saving big time to satisfy the shopaholic in me. *grin*
Monday, April 19, 2004Check out the right side, every item under Materialism costs $100 or more. Oh my..oh my. And $10 used to be a hell lot of money when I was in Primary School! Goodness knows when I'll start eyeing on those diamond rings in jewellery shops. Oh dear.
I better start saving big time to satisfy the shopaholic in me. *grin*
I guarantee, after this short stint of working life, I'm definitely going to appreciate school life alot more.
Sunday, April 18, 2004
Friday
Met Mingzhen, Yiwei, Jamie, Trina, Jason and the guys for dinner to celebrate Ming's birthday. Happy (belated) birthday girl! Anyways, its good meeting them again after sooooo damn long. I bet the guys themselves took like 20 seconds to recognise me. *mumbles* Looking at the girls, I suddenly realised how all of us have grown up. The light make-up, fabulous looks, glossy lips, glamorous smile. Everybody is becoming absolutely stunning and pretty. Nevertheless, they are still the good ol' girlfriends I've known from TK. :)
Saturday
Some caucasion crashed straight into me without warning when I went blading. So much for maintaining a record for falling only once in my entire blading history, now I have a purplish-greenish bruise, some abrasion marks and 2 sore knees to remind me of the crash. Har-har.
But blading is shiok and I'm finally getting the tan I want. Yeayyy!
Watched Starsky and Hutch with XH later in the afternoon. Really funny, that show. Its really (in his words) hong gan ah! *grin* Those two will probably achieve the award for the Most Screw-ups of the Year. Hahahaa.
Sunday
Cartel's breakfast rocks!
Wednesday, April 14, 2004Met Mingzhen, Yiwei, Jamie, Trina, Jason and the guys for dinner to celebrate Ming's birthday. Happy (belated) birthday girl! Anyways, its good meeting them again after sooooo damn long. I bet the guys themselves took like 20 seconds to recognise me. *mumbles* Looking at the girls, I suddenly realised how all of us have grown up. The light make-up, fabulous looks, glossy lips, glamorous smile. Everybody is becoming absolutely stunning and pretty. Nevertheless, they are still the good ol' girlfriends I've known from TK. :)
Saturday
Some caucasion crashed straight into me without warning when I went blading. So much for maintaining a record for falling only once in my entire blading history, now I have a purplish-greenish bruise, some abrasion marks and 2 sore knees to remind me of the crash. Har-har.
But blading is shiok and I'm finally getting the tan I want. Yeayyy!
Watched Starsky and Hutch with XH later in the afternoon. Really funny, that show. Its really (in his words) hong gan ah! *grin* Those two will probably achieve the award for the Most Screw-ups of the Year. Hahahaa.
Sunday
Cartel's breakfast rocks!
View from Swissotel's 70th floor is magnificent. Not to mention the ambience, the wine, the ang-mohs. *dreamy look*
Give me this kinda life anyday, a nice dinner at Embassy, musical and cocktail to end the night. *dreamy look again*
Anyway, back to reality. So many people have been receiving letters from NUS/NTU to head down for an interview, submit an essay etc etc, and I have no letter, no email...nothing at all, except a note from Storm hairsalon to tell me that they are celebrating their 10th anniversary and will have 49% off on all hair services. Right. Tell me more. Frankly, I'm starting to get a little kan jiong. =
Last wisdom tooth growing out, I feel like I'm teething all over again. *winces*
Give me this kinda life anyday, a nice dinner at Embassy, musical and cocktail to end the night. *dreamy look again*
Anyway, back to reality. So many people have been receiving letters from NUS/NTU to head down for an interview, submit an essay etc etc, and I have no letter, no email...nothing at all, except a note from Storm hairsalon to tell me that they are celebrating their 10th anniversary and will have 49% off on all hair services. Right. Tell me more. Frankly, I'm starting to get a little kan jiong. =
Last wisdom tooth growing out, I feel like I'm teething all over again. *winces*
Point one: At the rate I drink teh-si, I better watch out before I become a diabetic. *touch wood*
Point two: Saturday Night Fever is worth every $130 of mine. Two thumbs up for the dance choreography!
Its a good show which revived Bee Gees all over again. Slick, precise, sexy, irresistable..makes you wanna get up and dance dance dance (!). Hip gyrating has never looked so erotic before. Of course, that's not the only part.. *grin*
The only thing was that the cast weren't dramatic enough, they couldn't bring across the mood of those few tragedy scenes. But how could I possibly expect them to excel in dancing, singing and acting? Singing was decent, not powerful but understandable enough because they have to dance and sing, as if it isn't tiring enough. The bottomline: not dramatic enough but their dance moves just blow you away.
Esplanade theatre was so cosy, its not that huge, but high..3 or 4 storeys? Can't remember.
Gosh. I can't get it out of my mind.
I wanna watch it again, but that will be nuts.
Saturday, April 10, 2004Point two: Saturday Night Fever is worth every $130 of mine. Two thumbs up for the dance choreography!
Its a good show which revived Bee Gees all over again. Slick, precise, sexy, irresistable..makes you wanna get up and dance dance dance (!). Hip gyrating has never looked so erotic before. Of course, that's not the only part.. *grin*
The only thing was that the cast weren't dramatic enough, they couldn't bring across the mood of those few tragedy scenes. But how could I possibly expect them to excel in dancing, singing and acting? Singing was decent, not powerful but understandable enough because they have to dance and sing, as if it isn't tiring enough. The bottomline: not dramatic enough but their dance moves just blow you away.
Esplanade theatre was so cosy, its not that huge, but high..3 or 4 storeys? Can't remember.
Gosh. I can't get it out of my mind.
I wanna watch it again, but that will be nuts.
I'm getting a singlet tan from blading the past two Saturday mornings. Its good that I'm getting back my tan again, but it isn't good that its an uneven tan. *complains*
I've come to love the beach so much, that I could never get sick of it. I will cycle all the way from Tampines to East Coast just to enjoy the sea breeze while I sit on the sand and sink my toes into it, stare at the blue blue sea, listen to the wind blowing. Blading along East Coast, the route towards Sea Sports Centre was so satisfying today. Alone with the wind, gliding along the coast, feeling so free...
I wish I could stay like that forever, with you.
I recalled the first time we cycled from Tampines to East Coast, all the way to the jetty to see TJC sailing team train. Standing so close, yet our shoulders not touching. Longed to reach out and wrap my arms around you, but of course, I couldn't at that time. I smile at that memory.
But as I was telling Suzanne today, given a choice, I would rather spend it 8 hours at a beach rather than dance the night away at some sweaty stinky club. I will rather a tranquil, peaceful setting than loud music blaring in my ears, with the bass thumping right within my heart. I will rather not spend any money, than to waste $20 on entrance tickets/drinks, and $30 cab fare home. That's just my personal opinion, by the way.
And I had such a lovely time chatting with Suzanne over a cup of cocoa at Starbucks today! Her photos from her trip were so beautiful, Europe is really a place I will tour if I have the money and opportunity. Thanks soooo much for the earrings, it brings my collection to 15 danglies now! *grin*
Admist all those random topics we've picked, what really struck me deep was how fast we had to mature the past few months. "Just half a year ago we were worrying about A's. Now its all over. Just half a year ago we were planning what we're gonna do..find jobs etc." Now? We're all working, having to grow up so fast, having to make decisions in our lives which will affect our future. Previously, I had friends whose brothers enter NS. Now I have friends who enter NS. Next, I'll probably start receiving wedding invitations. *groans* 19, 20, 21. And time will start flying. How I miss those college times.
I bought a packet of Mini Teddy Grahams (Nabisco type) and my mum has already polished off half the packet. *complains* I know they are addictive but she can at least leave some for me right? Also, Old Chang Kee has opened at Tampines! Yay! Now I can satisfy my cravings whenever I want.
Thursday, April 08, 2004I've come to love the beach so much, that I could never get sick of it. I will cycle all the way from Tampines to East Coast just to enjoy the sea breeze while I sit on the sand and sink my toes into it, stare at the blue blue sea, listen to the wind blowing. Blading along East Coast, the route towards Sea Sports Centre was so satisfying today. Alone with the wind, gliding along the coast, feeling so free...
I wish I could stay like that forever, with you.
I recalled the first time we cycled from Tampines to East Coast, all the way to the jetty to see TJC sailing team train. Standing so close, yet our shoulders not touching. Longed to reach out and wrap my arms around you, but of course, I couldn't at that time. I smile at that memory.
But as I was telling Suzanne today, given a choice, I would rather spend it 8 hours at a beach rather than dance the night away at some sweaty stinky club. I will rather a tranquil, peaceful setting than loud music blaring in my ears, with the bass thumping right within my heart. I will rather not spend any money, than to waste $20 on entrance tickets/drinks, and $30 cab fare home. That's just my personal opinion, by the way.
And I had such a lovely time chatting with Suzanne over a cup of cocoa at Starbucks today! Her photos from her trip were so beautiful, Europe is really a place I will tour if I have the money and opportunity. Thanks soooo much for the earrings, it brings my collection to 15 danglies now! *grin*
Admist all those random topics we've picked, what really struck me deep was how fast we had to mature the past few months. "Just half a year ago we were worrying about A's. Now its all over. Just half a year ago we were planning what we're gonna do..find jobs etc." Now? We're all working, having to grow up so fast, having to make decisions in our lives which will affect our future. Previously, I had friends whose brothers enter NS. Now I have friends who enter NS. Next, I'll probably start receiving wedding invitations. *groans* 19, 20, 21. And time will start flying. How I miss those college times.
I bought a packet of Mini Teddy Grahams (Nabisco type) and my mum has already polished off half the packet. *complains* I know they are addictive but she can at least leave some for me right? Also, Old Chang Kee has opened at Tampines! Yay! Now I can satisfy my cravings whenever I want.
Flipping through the calendar, I realised I will have reached my 3rd month at HSBC this coming Monday. How fast time flies. Soon, I'll quit! Hahahahahahaahaaaaaa.
I love talking to Alwyn, he is the type of person whom I will talk to non-stop until my mouth becomes dry. Literally. He's such a great listener who gives me the impression that he appreciates whatever I have to tell him...aww man, you're the best! *big hug*
Talking to XH tonight feels like taking a break. Instead of having to go at 1000words/min, I could take my time in thinking what I have to say, sort out my thoughts a little...enjoy a minute of silence..everything.
How could my mum not understand why I talk on the phone? How could she not understand my need to go out and catch up with my friends? Why does she choose to work OT every night instead of coming back to cook, sit down and have dinner with her daughter? Hmmm. Come to think of it, most of the working population in Singapore have succumbed to this routine-like life - work, come home, bathe, sleep. work, come home, bathe, sleep. Just to make ends meet, to pay for the bills, to pay off debts, to provide for themselves and their family.
And I bought yet another pair of earrings today. *grin*
Tuesday, April 06, 2004I love talking to Alwyn, he is the type of person whom I will talk to non-stop until my mouth becomes dry. Literally. He's such a great listener who gives me the impression that he appreciates whatever I have to tell him...aww man, you're the best! *big hug*
Talking to XH tonight feels like taking a break. Instead of having to go at 1000words/min, I could take my time in thinking what I have to say, sort out my thoughts a little...enjoy a minute of silence..everything.
How could my mum not understand why I talk on the phone? How could she not understand my need to go out and catch up with my friends? Why does she choose to work OT every night instead of coming back to cook, sit down and have dinner with her daughter? Hmmm. Come to think of it, most of the working population in Singapore have succumbed to this routine-like life - work, come home, bathe, sleep. work, come home, bathe, sleep. Just to make ends meet, to pay for the bills, to pay off debts, to provide for themselves and their family.
And I bought yet another pair of earrings today. *grin*
I'm sitting here in the office with phones ringing all around me, but I certainly do not care. The whole department has gone upstairs for a meeting, so its just me and another temp staff here. All alone until 5.30pm. *grin* How liberated I suddenly feel.
Its good to "eat snake" once a blue moon.
Its Tuesday already, how fast! Soon it will be Thursday, then Friday. I can't wait. I ought to just lie down on the floor and take a nap...nobody will know...hahahahah. Discovered Spinelli has this really nice Mexican Wedding cookies, they are almond flavoured and crumbly...really good stuff. If you have a chance, go try it. Price : $1 for one, $1.60 for two. Just grab two lah.
Saturday, April 03, 2004Its good to "eat snake" once a blue moon.
Its Tuesday already, how fast! Soon it will be Thursday, then Friday. I can't wait. I ought to just lie down on the floor and take a nap...nobody will know...hahahahah. Discovered Spinelli has this really nice Mexican Wedding cookies, they are almond flavoured and crumbly...really good stuff. If you have a chance, go try it. Price : $1 for one, $1.60 for two. Just grab two lah.
Saturday
0815:Woke up, stumble into toilet.
0830: Pulled on white shorts, singlet. Spray suntan oil + rub sunblock on my face.
0900: Called Bernie, she's gonna be late, figured I better take my time too.
0930: Finally met her, we head to East Coast.
1015: Bernie has no cash, XP not enough, both pray that they accept NETs. THEY DO! Start blading.
1215: Realised we haven't reached our destination yet, struggle to blade faster so that we don't have to pay overtime charges.
1220: Headed to Food Village to enjoy refreshing drink of orange+lemon juice *winks* Then trudge back.
1248: Boarded bus 18 home.
1314: Home at last! Changed into FBT shorts, dragged bicycle out and cycled with neighbour to TJ to have tom yam.
1420: Tom Yam yummy-licious! Back to TJ to slack and show Yinghui around the school.
1600: Leisure cycle back home
1640: Home! Crashed onto sofa and nua-ed.
1750: Bathe, dinner..the usual things.
I declare my body too tired to do anything. An hour's jog yesterday, 2 hours blading today, 3 hours cycling...enough is enough! But its reaaalllllly shiok. Met this old man today who taught me a series of turns and stuff...which I never learnt till today and (yay!) mastered it on the first try. I'm so going back to him for lessons :)
Of course, a day is never complete without some snaps!
Today is one Saturday well spent. Tomorrow is back to teaching. *groans*
Friday, April 02, 20040815:Woke up, stumble into toilet.
0830: Pulled on white shorts, singlet. Spray suntan oil + rub sunblock on my face.
0900: Called Bernie, she's gonna be late, figured I better take my time too.
0930: Finally met her, we head to East Coast.
1015: Bernie has no cash, XP not enough, both pray that they accept NETs. THEY DO! Start blading.
1215: Realised we haven't reached our destination yet, struggle to blade faster so that we don't have to pay overtime charges.
1220: Headed to Food Village to enjoy refreshing drink of orange+lemon juice *winks* Then trudge back.
1248: Boarded bus 18 home.
1314: Home at last! Changed into FBT shorts, dragged bicycle out and cycled with neighbour to TJ to have tom yam.
1420: Tom Yam yummy-licious! Back to TJ to slack and show Yinghui around the school.
1600: Leisure cycle back home
1640: Home! Crashed onto sofa and nua-ed.
1750: Bathe, dinner..the usual things.
I declare my body too tired to do anything. An hour's jog yesterday, 2 hours blading today, 3 hours cycling...enough is enough! But its reaaalllllly shiok. Met this old man today who taught me a series of turns and stuff...which I never learnt till today and (yay!) mastered it on the first try. I'm so going back to him for lessons :)
Of course, a day is never complete without some snaps!
Today is one Saturday well spent. Tomorrow is back to teaching. *groans*
I have this thing with mynahs, I don't know why..I'm simply so amused by their behavior.
I've seen those birds attempt to land but however fell on their butts due to a slippery floor, I've seen one wrestle to get that piece of chewing gum out of its beak, and I'm still so amused by the way they walk like humans (instead of hopping about) and the way their butts go ridiculously high up when they peck at food on the ground.
I am sure bored. But looking at these birds make me happy, because they are so comical themselves.
Thursday, April 01, 2004I've seen those birds attempt to land but however fell on their butts due to a slippery floor, I've seen one wrestle to get that piece of chewing gum out of its beak, and I'm still so amused by the way they walk like humans (instead of hopping about) and the way their butts go ridiculously high up when they peck at food on the ground.
I am sure bored. But looking at these birds make me happy, because they are so comical themselves.
Say it's true
There's nothing like me and you
I'm not alone
Tell me you feel it too
And I would run away
I would run away, yeah yeah
I would run away
I would run away with you
Because I, I've fallen in love with you
No, never, I'm never gonna stop
Falling in love with you
Close the door
Lay down upon the floor
And by candlelight
Make love to me through the night
Because I have run away
I have run away, yeah yeah
I have run away, run away
I have run away with you
Because I, I've fallen in love with you
No, never, I'm never gonna stop
Falling in love with you
And I would run away
I would run away, yeah yeah
I would run away
I would run away with you
Because I, I've fallen in love with you
No, never, i'm never gonna stop
Falling in love with you.
There's nothing like me and you
I'm not alone
Tell me you feel it too
And I would run away
I would run away, yeah yeah
I would run away
I would run away with you
Because I, I've fallen in love with you
No, never, I'm never gonna stop
Falling in love with you
Close the door
Lay down upon the floor
And by candlelight
Make love to me through the night
Because I have run away
I have run away, yeah yeah
I have run away, run away
I have run away with you
Because I, I've fallen in love with you
No, never, I'm never gonna stop
Falling in love with you
And I would run away
I would run away, yeah yeah
I would run away
I would run away with you
Because I, I've fallen in love with you
No, never, i'm never gonna stop
Falling in love with you.